Please help me, please!!!!!

Question

I have been given the opportunity to deliver the "welcome speech" at my class presentation. It will be attended by a chief guest, principal, parents and guests. I will have to give a speech on to address and welcome them. I will also have to thank and intoduce them for coming to our presentation and sparing time for us. I want to make use of good English and style so that my speech is effective and appreciated by all.

Please will anybody write such a speech for me? Please???? I shall be highly obliged if anyon of you takes time to do so. Please do help me, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ritwik06 · Accepted Answer

And please remember that it mshould niether be too long nor be too short. And please use the bestt of language. Thanx in advance. A million times. Please help me!!!!!!!!!!

BarbaraPA · Answer

Please see Clive's response to you other post. You must have a try at it first. Then we can help you with your grammar, etc.

(And please don't use huge, red letters. Thank you.)

Ritwik06 · Answer

OK!! I have prepared it myself but my teacher has suggested some changes and asked me to enlarge it to 1.5 times! Please now will anyone help me??

Here's what I have written:

I, Ritwik of class IX-A, finds great pleasure in welcoming you all, on this auspicious day to our model class presentation.

Respected Principal Ma'am, our chief guest, parents and teachers, it has been our great pleasure to have you all here. And, I would like to than you for granting us some of your precious time out of your busy schedule. I cannbe sure that your presence will greatly affect our presentation. This fact can be substantiated by the smile on my classmates' faces

I bet that you all will be entertained by our rhetoric speeches, embullient skits and our opinion about convoluted facts which seem quite cogent. Thus, I request you to listen and assess our performance and I am sure you'll find some improvements from last time. I would once again like to thank you all for motivating us and being here.

Thank you and Jai Jagat!

My teacher has told me to remove the part in purple colour as it forms a part of "Vote of thanks" which is quite different from my speech. I would like you to make this speech extremely effective and best. And instead of the things in purple, please add something like the following: It has been great to have a chance to present our talents and all under one roof and something like that to fill in the removed part and please enlarge it a little.

And please use good English!!

Ritwik06 · Answer

Grammar Geek
Please see Clive's response to you other post. You must have a try at it first. Then we can help you with your grammar, etc.

(And please don't use huge, red letters. Thank you.)

Yep!! I hadnt joined in before posting that. Sorry I am no spammer. I have tried and told you what I need. Please help me now. Oh they were just to draw attention. I am sorry for that. Please help me miss Barbara.

BarbaraPA · Answer

I'm a little confused - does your speech come BEFORE everyone does their presentations, or after? Because the part you want to add seems like it would go after, but a welcome spepech obviously comes first.

Ritwik06 · Answer

Grammar GeekI'm a little confused - does your speech come BEFORE everyone does their presentations, or after? Because the part you want to add seems like it would go after, but a welcome spepech obviously comes first.

My speech comes at the beginning and not at the end. I want you to modify my mistakes ma'am with that part. We have only one presentation and not presentations. Only one of which the welcome speech will be given by me. Please help me maam.

Thanx for your cooperation. Thanx a lot!!!

Aperisic · Answer

Legend:

[added material]

[what to do - NOT TO SAY!]

[part added]

SPEECH

Your host, Ritwik of class IX-A, present here, [hold up your hand] finds a great pleasure in welcoming you all on this auspicious day to our model class presentation.

Today we have gathered here to display a performance of those talented people among us who did not save themselves only to be able to offer the best possible enactment before you. I am sure that your presence will greatly influence our performance. This fact can be easily substantiated by the smiles on my classmates' faces [look at them shortly] and we could not wish for any better introduction.

I expect all of you to be entertained by our rhetoric speeches, ebullient skits and our opinions about convoluted facts that seem quite cogent. [Pause and go through the paper as if you were not sure that you read it all correctly]

Thus, I ask from you to listen carefully [slightly whispering: at least as much as I read this] and assess our performance and hopefully find some improvements from the last such occasion. I would like, once again [look through the public: as if that could be enough], [now put your head for just a moment down in a bow] to thank you all for being here. That fact is quite motivating for all of us, and please do not forget to offer us your support during the presentation [open both your palms towards the public, smile] as much as you desire. [pick up the paper, return look at them all]

Thank you and Jai Jagat!

[start leaving the place]

END OF THE SPEECH

Have fun,

Aleksandar

BarbaraPA · Answer

My comments and questions are in brackets. I kept to your words as much as possible because it's supposed to be your speech. A speech is not made better by using fancy words. A speech is made better by having simplicity and sincerity. I know you are very sincere - you would do better to be a little more simple.

I'm not sure how to fix our opinion about convoluted facts which seem quite cogent - this just seems really out of place. I'm not sure what you mean. Are you having a debate? Are you presenting an analysis of something?

***********

Hello,

My name is Ritwik, and I am very pleased to welcome you to Class 9A [you don't speak in Roman numberals], on this fine day, to our [model class -what is this?] presentation. We are excited to have the chance to all come together in one placto show you our talents. Please know how much your presence here has a positive effect on our presentation. This fact can be substansantiated by the smiles on the faces of my classmates.

I am confident that you will be entertained by our [don't use rhetoric] speeches [if you want, you can something about our well-researched speeches or something that gives credit to the work done in advance], [embullient - I think you mean ebullient - but even that's not a great word here] lively skits, and ... [here's the part I'm not sure what you're trying to say? Is it "analyses of complex situations, giving our opinions and reasoning" or something like that?].

In addition to being happy that you are here, we are also motivated by your presence to do our very best. As you listen to the presentation, I hope you will see a demonstration of our hard work, and you will notice improvements over the last time.

I would once again like to thank you all for being here.

Thank you and Jai Jagat!

*********

This isn't much longer, but if you want to add to it, please do it using simple language. Remember, speak slowly and clearly, smile, and let the way you speak show that you are happy to have them. Here is a tip - don't look over the heads of the audience. Instead, look one person in the eyes at a time, for just a moment, and then look at someone else for a moment. If you smile when you do that, I almost guarantee that person will smile back. If you get nervous, make your teacher the next person you look at - your teacher will almost certainly smile and nod and you to show you that you are doing fine. Practice at home reading this outloud. I does not count as practice if you don't say the words aloud, okay? Practice actually saying the words.

Good luck and have fun.

(PS - Please just call me Barbara or Barb. I know that it's a sign of respect to say "ma'am," but it makes me feel old!)

Aperisic · Answer

Grammar Geek
My comments and questions are in brackets. I kept to your words as much as possible because it's supposed to be your speech. A speech is not made better by using fancy words. A speech is made better by having simplicity and sincerity. I know you are very sincere - you would do better to be a little more simple.

I'm not sure how to fix our opinion about convoluted facts which seem quite cogent - this just seems really out of place. I'm not sure what you mean. Are you having a debate? Are you presenting an analysis of something?

I think that those words are there because it is some kind of rhetoric performance that is about to happen - he is just introducing others who will perform their speeches or something. I think that part is very effective but cannot be just read. It has to be acted.

Please help me, please!!!!!

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