Please help me, improve the short essay in the school

Question

- What’s the sharing? It is sharing the experiences, knowledge of itself, helps people in community and development together. So we can create many technologies in which they have much value of the life. Besides, they will help me updated skills, modern technologies every day. the sharing feature that helps me not only improve my knowledge in which I also understand where is my levels. From that I will trying to improve my selves more.
- After the time is each sharing , helping everyone from forum, group on Facebook. I always get the invitation and become friends from the members in the forum, group… That making my spirit extremely comfortable, and proud of myself.

Thank you.

Englishmaven · Accepted Answer

Are you trying to explain what sharing is? Is that what your first sentence means? If it is, you should not use the word "sharing" to explain what it means, as you do in your second sentence (It is sharing the experiences, knowledge...).

I'm not sure about what you mean exactly, but I'll make some changes based on what I understand you to mean.

What is sharing? It is to make our experiences, knowledge of ourselves, our development, and assistance to people in the community available to others. As such, we can create many technologies which will be valuable for all life. I, too, will benefit from updated skills and modern technology every day. That quality of sharing helps me improve myself and evaluate myself. From that point, I can move forward.

After sharing with others in the forum and on Facebook, I often receive invitations to become friends with other members of the forum or group. That brings comfort to my spirit and makes me feel proud of myself.

I don't know if I captured what you meant. Try to use simple, shorter sentences. If you want to write longer, more complicated sentences, you can go back and combine sentences that would logically go together.

Please help me, improve the short essay in the school

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