Please help me improve my email writing.

Question

Hi everyone, could you please help improve my email writing? Does it sound natural and sincere?
Thank you so much!

Email subject: Enquiry Regarding Course Re-enrollment

Dear Support Team,

I am writing to ask if you could please help me understand whether I will be able to re-enrol in the course xxxx.

My name is xxx. I am currently doing MSc. Informatics in the School of Computing Science. I took xxxx(course name) last semester, but I missed the final exam due to my health condition.

The School granted me a 9-month interruption of study, from 01/01/19 to 30/09/19. I will return to study this October and re-enrol in three other courses so that I could take all the exams and get a final score for each course. I understand that there is already a mark indicating my overall performance on the course xxxx. However, I was wondering if it is possible for me to also en-enrol on xxxx this semester and be examined at subsequent exam diet? I believe my previous coursework has shown my ability to achieve a much higher score than my current failing mark. I would truly appreciate it if you could give me this chance.

Thanks in advance,
XX

MountainHiker · Accepted Answer

Email subject: Enquiry Regarding Course Re-enrollment

Dear Barbara Smith (try to find out the person's name),

I am writing to enquire if I will be permitted to re-enroll in Physics 469 ~~the course xxxx~~.

~~My name is ***.~~ (Your name is at the bottom of the letter.) I am currently ~~doing~~ enrolled at MSc. Informatics in the School of Computing Science. I took xxxx(course name) last semester, but I missed the final exam ~~due to~~ because of my health condition.

The Sschool (or I was) granted me (delete me, if using "I was granted") a 9nine-month (for numbers less than 10, write them out) ~~interruption of study,~~ break from 01/01/19 to 30/09/19. I will return to study this October and re-enroll in three other courses so that I ~~could take all the exams and get a final score~~ can earn a final grade for each course. ~~I understand that~~ Although there is already a mark/grade indicating my overall performance on the course xxxx~~. However,~~ I ~~was wondering~~ would like to know if it is possible for me to ~~also~~ re-enroll for on xxxx this semester to achieve a better grade. ~~and be examined at subsequent exam diet?~~ (The word "diet" confuses me. You must mean something else.) ~~I believe my~~ My previous coursework has shown my ability to achieve a much higher score (grade?) than my current failing mark.

I would be most appreciative ~~truly appreciate it~~ if you would allow me the opportunity to demonstrate my enthusiasm and capabilities. ~~could give me this chance.~~

(Assuming you know the person's name, then you could write something like the following sentence.)

I will contact you, Ms. Smith, within two weeks to discuss my request to re-enroll in Physics 469. (The onus is on you to contact her. Perhaps you can contact her receptionist and make an appointment.)

~~Thanks in advance,~~

Yours truly,

You

(I spelled "enroll" differently than you did. Both are acceptable. I chose a different spelling because of your subject line has "enrollment". Again, it doesn't matter.)

I hope my changes show you how to improve your letter. Once you make the changes, there are likely other areas for improvement, too. But this is a good start.

Good luck.

Please help me improve my email writing.

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