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Hoàng quân 2834 Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me fix the ielts writing practice. Thank you !

TASK 2: SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT WHEN A PERSON TRAVELS INTO A DIFFERENT CULTURE THEY SHOULD ADAPT TO THE LOCAL PRACTICES AND CUSTOMS. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE ?

In the context of contemporary society, traveling abroad is becoming a growing tendency among many kinds of entertainments. There is a question that whether travelers have to adapt and respect the local cultures and practices in a country where they visit or not. Although there are many reasons why travelers don’t have to follows these cultures, the merits of the opposite seem to be more specific.


It is often thought that tourism is a potential industry in every nation in the world. This is because this industry is a big business and support the economy to a great extent. Therefore, both residents and government should be more flexible and admit other cultures if they want to succeed in this field compared to the other countries. Although, the core of this claim is valid, I believe this to be a very short-sighted view. It is indisputable that the extraordinary cultures of each ethnic are the main tourist attractions, which any visitors are not able to find in other places. Therefore, by encouraging foreigners in respecting their cultures, these nations can make a deep impression on travelers and these people will introduce to their relations about them and come back in the next time. This would help the economy grow up.


Moreover, it is clear that thanks to adapt to the local practices and customs, travelers can enjoy the traditions of different places more perfectly. This is since if they show respect towards the host society, residents will accept and welcome them more enthusiastically. Thus, they will feel more comfortable to interact with local inhabitants. What’s next, thanks to respect local practices and customs, foreigners will avoid causing unnecessary troubles while enjoying their trips. These problems not only affected to the local but they also make their vacation worse.


In conclusion, while there still exist people being against cooperation, I believe it should be encouraged to visitor experiences and enjoy their traditional habits. Also, this will have a positive impact on both foreigners and the host nations.

  

Top answer

- You need to express your ideas in a clear, simple and direct manner. If you unnecessarily complicate your phrasing, you will make mistakes, frustrate the reader/examiner and get poor marks. - In your body paragraphs, you talk about "tourism" and "travelers", but that's not what the question is about.

  • - You need to express your ideas in a clear, simple and direct manner.
  • If you unnecessarily complicate your phrasing, you will make mistakes, frustrate the reader/examiner and get poor marks.
  • - In your body paragraphs, you talk about "tourism" and "travelers", but that's not what the question is about.
  • You need to talk about people who go to live in another country, not about tourists.
  • - A good body paragraph follows a general-to-specific structure.
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1 Answers
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- You need to express your ideas in a clear, simple and direct manner. If you unnecessarily complicate your phrasing, you will make mistakes, frustrate the reader/examiner and get poor marks.

- In your body paragraphs, you talk about "tourism" and "travelers", but that's not what the question is about. You need to talk about people who go to live in another country, not about tourists.

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