Please help me fix my Personal Statement!

Hello everybody! I am writing a personal statement to apply for MSc in Petroleum engineering but i am not so sure about my spelling and grammar as well as the way to write a good personal statement. I would really appreciate any help with my personal statement. Thank you in advance!

While the world is trying to find viable alternative sources of energy which reduce harmful emissions, the amount of energy consumed is continuing to rise. At present and for the foreseeable future, oil remains crucial source of energy for all means of transport and a driving force for the development of many nations’ economies. As a result, the future supply of energy and by extension the preservation of the environment relies on petroleum engineers. This makes petroleum engineering one of the most fascinating and spellbound fields and is a major reason why I have decided to take my knowledge base to the next level by dynamic hands-on experience amidst intellectual minds. I believe that being associated with the Petroleum Engineering course in your prestigious university would be the motivating and guiding factor I require for achieving my ultimate professional goal.
When being a child, I often visited my relatives in Vung Tau where is the oil and energy capital in Viet Nam. I remember that I was immediately appealed by the offshore drilling platform and it was definitely one intriguing sight making me consider and in fact discover the field of petroleum engineering. In addition to the motivation I already had in me, majoring in Chemical Engineering during my undergraduate program gave me the strong foundation to stand out. I was also an active member of the Chemistry Club during my university days and participating in its various activities gave me the exposure and molding I required. Apart from the technical coursework which included fascinating topics like Catalysis and Kinetics, Processes and Equipments of Chemical Engineering, Petroleum chemistry and others, we were also exposed to hands-on experimentation of the several theories in our program. In addition, my home country Viet Nam ranks third in oil production among Association of South East Asian Nations countries, trailing only Indonesia and Malaysia and if its current rate of development continues, Viet Nam will become the world’s 30^th largest oil-producing nation. For these reasons I decided to pursue a master’s degree in Petroleum Engineering at your esteemed university which I believe would help me achieve my goals of making meaningful contributions in the sector.
I worked for Ha Tien 1 Cement Joint Stock Company for more than 3 years as a Kiln Operator. My main responsibility is to operate a Clinker-manufacturing System, not just to control a wide range of machines manufactured and assembled by ThyssenKrupp Polysius through a control software of ABB Group but also to make sure that all the machines can be executed in safe, efficient and effective ways to gain maximum productivity of 5000 tons clinker/day. I found that my job is very exciting yet challenging because I held big responsibility for the productivity of the plant. Every operating procedure must be considered to ensure it is properly in order since a small mistake can cause significant loss of products or even fatal accidents. For example, to make the clinker reach the peak temperature so that the finishing chemical reaction takes place to the required degree, it requires accuracy in amount of coal for combustion in the kiln; error in this process can result in the loss of quality clinker and the overheating for other machines as well as dangers for workers. To prevent unwanted incident to happen, engineers are required to have a deep understanding of safety, chemical engineering and the functions of machines, hence I have to take the initiative in learning knowledge from older colleagues, the library of the plant or short-term professional training courses. In addition, when the plant undergoes maintenance schedule every 6 months, I got assignment as a Kiln Maintenance Manager to directly supervise the execution of rebuilding refractory materials for the kiln and maintenance of mechanical equipment. I had to lead 30 crews to deliver safe and high quality work so the combination of time management, technical and communication skills are very important. With these skills combined with proper planning we were always successful to accomplish the task on time with safe and with lower cost from the estimation. I believe my skills and experience in Ha Tien 1 Cement Joint Stock Company will be a great aid during my study in your university.
I play football three times a week with a club that plays in local competitions and I play in midfield. Being a central midfielder requires good team working, an ability to support your team-mates in breaking up opposition’s attacks and creating goal, be able to implement successfully game strategies of the coach but also be creative. I also involve myself in social activities like regularly donating my blood and helping children with cancer and take responsibility for organizing fundraising events such as campaigns for raise money for the flood victims or Agent Orange victims. This gives me an opportunity to develop my organizational and planning skills. Dealing with all these activities while keeping up with my academic studies demands good time management and I think I do that very well.
My goals for the near future are to acquire as much as possible the required technical expertise, confidence and competence to pursue a career in the petroleum industry. There is an abundance of natural resources in Viet Nam and to have a positive effect on this industry, the dearth of skilled, passionate and dedicated human capital need to be resolved. I have chosen to apply to XXX University because your university has established an international reputation for its specialty in Petroleum Engineering and closely links with engineering industries on XXX. The specialty has a very strong faculty, first-class research facilities and industry-recognized lecturers. I earnestly believe that my degree program in the XXX University will be a fruitful one.