Please help me feedback and grade this essay. Thank you so much!

Topic: People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less.

There is currently a sharp increase in the consumption of sugar-based drinks which are supposed to be the trendiest choice within beverage industry. Many people tend to have a weakness for this type of drinks without any concerns about its repercussions. This issue has resulted from numerous reasons. Therefore, some remedies should be conducted to alleviate the problem.

There are several causes related to this issue. First of all, it is likely that more sugar-based drinks are manufactured in good looking with a variety of patterns and colors as well as are often placed in a remarkable position in supermarkets, which easily draws more people’s attention. In addition, today beverage companies tend to advertise strongly their sweet products by using image of celebrities so as to obtain more purchases. More importantly, ingredients in drinks containing sugar are often addictive to stimulate the taste of those who enjoy them compared to non-sugar ones.

Due to these concerns, some measures should be conducted to mitigate the issue. The first noteworthy solution is the campaign propagandizing both downsides of sugar-dependent beverages and benefits of better alternatives. Furthermore, government should impose heavy taxes on sugary drinks as well as cutting taxes on healthy ones such as mineral water. This would not eliminate completely the issue but the number of consumers is possible to drop significantly. Another remedy is the promotion and replacement of healthier beverages in convenience stores along with the limit of sweetened drinks on menus in restaurants.

In conclusion, there are many underlying causes resulting in the rate of sugar-based drink consumption. As far as I concerned, the government and individuals should make collaborative efforts to cope up with this problem so that people can be mindful to less rely on sugary goods.