Please help me evaluate my writing in IELTS WRITING TASK 2

Dear, Sir and Ma'am! Please help me evaluate the writing for IELTS WRITING TASK 2. Thank you a lot!

Here is my topic: (Source: Cambridge IELTS Practice 16 - Test 1)

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.

What are the reasons for this?

How can people research this?

Nowadays, it has been observed that people tend to be more concerned about delving into the past of their accommodation. Many people think that it is because of curiosity but I believe there are more pragmatic explanations. Within the scope of this writing, I will discuss two reasons for this tendency/phenomenon and how to look for the information.

As for the reasons, firstly, I think learning about the history of the house will make it convenient for the new owners when they want to alter parts of the building. Knowing what the building was built of, how it was used and what had been altered will guide them to use suitable materials and methods to prevent unnecessary mendings or irreparable damage to the original features. For example, if the previous owner has already repaired the clogged drain then the new one does not have to worry and waste money on that problem anymore. Moreover, if they ever want to put their house on the market, they will have a foundation to evaluate its price and negotiate with the buyers. Secondly, just like it is obviously necessary for consumers to read the product’s label carefully before buying, when having knowledge about who lived in their house and what had happened in the past, the current owners will have more sense of possession and feel guaranteed and more comfortable when living there. Also, it can help them adapt to the environment easier.

For all these reasons, there are 3 main ways to look for the history of your accommodation. The first method is to ask for information from the previous owners and neighbors who have lived there for a longer time than you. The pro is that you can easily find as much information as you want to know without any costs, time and effort. However, what you hear may not be completely genuine. You must analyze what you heard carefully and do your own research online to reconfirm, which is the second method I want to discuss. Thanks to the rapid development of the Internet and social networking, in today’s modern world, searching for information online can be just in the blink of an eye, but you also need to filter what you really need since there are plentiful data available. The last approach is coming to your competent local authorities to ask for legal information related to the house. The information you get is obviously reliable but the process will be much more complicated.

In conclusion, I think the increase in the number of people who want to ascertain their house’s past is cause for two main reasons and there are three main ways for them to carry out such researches.