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Jeremy1234 Posted 18 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please Help Me Edit! Thanks Alot

Hey Guys!~ I have a social study article assignment, and I need help on it can you guys edit (espeacially grammar and run on sentences) it for me and give me some comments and feed back. What I need to improve on?



This is my first time writing a good article, both of those article is about the Meiji Period in . Please, Take your time, perhaps enjoy~ Ill be really happy. If you think adding something or changing something will be better, then tell me please



I am desperate for a good grade guys, please help. Now my average is kinda sucky



This Article will be graded on:



Historical Interpretation, Content and Accuracy



Creativity



Following Directions and Newspaper guideline



Verbal presentation

__________________________________________________________________________________________



is Struck!

Janurary 23,2008

On , Japanese soldiers trespassed into , or the committed three months of vicious massacre. Only in a few days, a uncountable innocent lives were killed by the hands of those cruel soldiers.



occupies the west end of and the south edge of the , surrounded by sea on three sides. In this advantaged geographical position, it is a beautiful tourist city zone with a long history. But not until the Japanese came, In August 1st the Japanese declared to attack . The first division of the Japanese second army was under the command of General Yamaji Motoharu to give a violent attack, which was the first Sino-Japanese War. On , Japanese soldiers invaded , was in a massacre 3 months. Just in a few days, 20,000 civillians without any weapons died by the cruelty of the Japanese soldiers. Later, the Japanese forced the Chinese signing the treaty of that ended the war. Year’s later Chinese government built a cemetery in memory of these Chinese who died in the massacre.



However, 2 months ago, , under extreme international pressure from , , and forced back to .



Guns and Boats? Not Katana?





isolated themselves from the other countries for nearly 200 years, but when Commodore. M. Perry went to , he

broke the chain of the isolation. Since saw so many changes going outside of the world, they decided to modernize

their country, moving toward the Meiji period. During the Meiji Period, improved not only on

economy but also political and foreign relations.



Politics also changed in , from constitutional monarchy, British styled constitutional democracy, then they rejected British model and accepted the Prussian constitutional system. An ex samurai and oligarch, Ito Hirobumi, who worked to restore the emperor to power. He rejected the United States Constitution as “too liberal” and the British system was too widely having too much parliament in control of the monarchy. After his death, carrying on his ideas, finally initialized a new “Meiji constitution” specified a form of government that was still authoritarian in character, with the emperor holding the ultimate power and only minimal rights for parliaments.



The new government continues to modernize the nation through government to all major cities, railroads, manufacturing…… Much concerned about national security, the new government made significant effort in modernizing the military of . This includes using practice using new guns, gun powder, and more. Different foreign military systems were studied and modeled, especially French ones, were brought in. Many hard working soldiers were sent to naval and military schools in and the .
  

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I've tried to reformat your post three times, but I still can't get the formatting to come out right. Sorry...

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