PLease help me correcting my Cover letter for college!

Hello peeps,

I wrote a CL for college and I wanted to ask you if you could help me correct it ?!

Thank you in advance!

Dear Sir, Ms or Madam,

I wish to express my interest in your double Bachelor of International Hospitality Management program, starting in March 2012 in xxx.

Born and raised in xxx, Lower Saxony, I attended the local schools until graduation.

After I passed my A-levels at xxx-school, I wish to continue my education at a university.

Being a native speaker of German I also speak good English and French and also a bit of Spanish. Already in school it was easy for me to study foreign languages, which encouraged me over the past few years to learn a profession in which I can use this effectively.

In addition, I enjoy reading and learning about economic relations and collaborations a lot. It is fascinating how much these kind of relations affect our daily life. Of course I cannot understand every single process or decision yet, but that is what I hope to learn in the future.

I believe that a leading function in hotel services can lead me to achieve my next big goal, which is my own secure and independent life.

In my earlier years of life I've often lived in a dream world, where I wished for a prosperous and luxurious life. Today I understand that you have to work very hard for this. Therefore, I am creating my life resilient and hard working.

Being a very outgoing girl, I have met very many people and I have experienced their cultures and faith. I was thrilled by these impressions and found myself having a lot of fun to pass these experiences to others. I believe that it is very important to share those positive and maybe also negative experiences, in order to learn from them. The tourism industry can contribute significantly to bring the world closer together and even show the skeptics beautiful and welcoming parties of each country. Being an optimist and a girl who tries to evade fights and arguments I am convinced that nowadays this is very important for a bright future. I would support this position by my creativity and my self-confidence during the study and thereafter.

The online presentation and brochures of the xxx-school were quite impressing and brought me to the idea to combine both, my passion for foreign languages and cultures and the importance of future intermediators to my dream profession.

Your offer seems very diverse and wide-ranging. School often tends to be boring but the preview of the curriculum shown on your website seems varied and increases my motivation to study even more.

I am especially impressed by the given opportunity to spend almost one and a half year abroad. One can not only meet new faces, but also an unfamiliar way of living. Such experiences are incredibly valuable in my eyes and can only contribute to success in future careers.

I have always known who I wanted to be:

I wanted to be influential, be popular and a role model for someone. I wanted to see my parents proud and look in the mirror to be able to say: you have achieved something meaningful in life.

Thank you very much in advace for taking time and considering my application.

Sincerely,

xxx

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