Please help me correct writting task 2

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people consider the amount of payment as a key parameter in deciding on a job. Personally, while I agree that money is an important factor, I firmly believe that other factors are equally essential.

On the one hand, it’s crucial to consider about the salary in choosing the occupation which allows people to have a reasonable quality of life. Due to the fact that everyone need to pay a certain amount of money each month for their basic needs, such as food, housing, transportation and health care, most of people make decisions of choosing a career path providing them enough money to cover living costs at least. Especially, it’s imperative for adults having children to earn more money because raising kids is a really money-consuming process. In contrast, if people choose their job based on other non-financial factors, they might encounter some difficulties of money anxiety.

On the other hand, other considerations should be as vital as how much money we earn in our jobs. First of all, the enjoyment and passion in work play an important role in deciding your job satisfaction. It’s logical that following what you love to do is a huge inspiration to get the top performance. For example, artists are a kind of people paying more attention to their interests in work rather than to the salary. Moreover, personal relationship and working environment can also make huge difference to workers’ level of happiness. The employee is likely to undergo stress at work so a collaborative environment with a good manager and friendly colleagues could contribute to mitigating the that tension.

In conclusion, money certainly affects our choices of profession but it can’t outweigh all other motivators.