Please help me correct this writing task 2 (Ielts)

Topic:

Some people believe that there are more advantages to learning foreign languages at primary school age than at secondary school level.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

My essay:

Learning foreign language is a growing tendency to adapt an advanced and globalized world. Whether the optimum age for learning a new tongue is an early age or later period has always been a subject of dispute. As far as I am concerned, there are two sides of a coin, one is positive and others is drawback.

It can not be denied that learning new language at the early age offers some enormous benefits. First, children of primary school age can still retain their flexible of baby brains which are designed to absorb and produce new language swiftly. Furthermore, children are engrossing to try new things, so providing that the materials is presented to them in some engaging ways such as games, songs and so forth, they are likely to able to grasp new language quickly. Second, learning new tongue can easily attainable by the majority of children who do not suffer from the self-consciousness that adolescents frequently feel when they are asked to produce strange sounds. On the ground that children have not established one pronunciation pattern for their mother language yet, they can find it easier to pronoun new languages accurately. Additionally, they have more time for language learning because there is less competition with academic subjects in comparison with teenager facing it very often.

Turning to another side of this consideration, there exist some certain drawbacks. As a downside of the flexibility, children can forget a new vocabulary as easily as they learned it. On the basic of extra regular practices accompanied with a large number of academic lessons, teenagers can retain what they are learned. Nevertheless, they tend to deal with the challenge of exam pressure and peer pressure as well.

All things considered, it is much better to start learning a new language at primary schools, what’s more, this process should be supported by continued practice at high school to lead to successful communication.