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Huynguyen158 Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me correct this writing

Hi teachers,

This is my IELTS writing. Could you please help me correct and give me some advice to improve it? Thank you very much for your kind help. Emotion: smile

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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It is often argued that governments should help creative artists financially. Although this practice may have some advantages, it is still unreasonable in general.

On the one hand, people appear to deal with many money-related issues when making a career as an artist. In fact, inconsistent income is perhaps the biggest problem that every artist has to confront. Since there is not much demand for works of art, very few artists are able to make a living from selling their works. Even a successful artist may sell an artwork in a week and nothing else for the next weeks or months. This makes it difficult for artists to make a decent living. As a result, they cannot keep their mind on their work in order to produce works of great artistic merit since they have to secure a part-time job or turn into teaching art for steadier income. Therefore, providing financial assistance to creative artists would not only make up for such difficulties, but contribute indirectly to the development of the arts.

On the other hand, supporting creative artists is unfair and rational. Firstly, every field of endeavor always includes the pros and cons and the arts is no exception. Thus, it would be unfair if people working in this type of profession receive sponsorship from government merely because of its own disadvantages. Secondly, opponents argue that such practices would be a waste of money when there are other social problems to resolve. This is especially important in developing countries, where national budget should be allocated reasonably. Therefore, if there are any supports for artists, they should come from alternative channels such as those who are truly interested in art and willing to patronize artists instead of government.

In conclusion, the notion that government should give financial backing to artists need to be taken into account carefully due to its negative disadvantages.
  

Top answer

It is often argued that governments should help creative artists financially. Although this practice may have some advantages, it is still generally unreasonable in my opinion. general.

  • It is often argued that governments should help creative artists financially.
  • Although this practice may have some advantages, it is still generally unreasonable in my opinion.
  • general.
  • On the one hand, people appear artists often seem to deal struggle with many money-related issues when making a throughout their caree r.
  • as an artist.
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3 Answers
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It is often argued that governments should help creative artists financially. Although this practice may have some advantages, it is still generally unreasonable in my opinion. general.

On the one hand, people appear artists often seem to deal struggle with many money-related issues when making a through
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I have a question, please help me:
Artists often seem to struggle with many money-related issues throughout their career.
I think "appear" is more likely to refer to the appearance and facts while "seem" may involve "feeling". Could you please tell me difference between the use of "appear" and "seem" here?

Your corrections have helped me very much. I really apprecia
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In that context, "seem" means to give the impression (not necessarily physical) of being in a certain state/situation.

Have a look at #1 in the link below.
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/seem
huynguyen158I think "appear" is more likely to

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