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Huynguyen158 Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Please help me correct this writing
Hi teachers,
Here is my IELTS writing. Could you please check and give me some advice to improve it?
Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.
Do you agree or disagree?
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It is sometimes argued that teenage students should be demanded to serve the community in their free time by doing unpaid work. There might have different reactions to this view, but this idea is entirely justifiable and needs to be approved of after all.
Participating in community activities during adolescence help students nurture good characteristics and develop practical skills. Firstly, community works offer opportunities for teenagers to do things that not only make their local area a better place, but have positive impacts on their personal qualities. For example, helping the disabled in hospitals would cultivate the sense of sharing and caring; or by collecting rubbish in their neighbourhood, students would increase the awareness of environmental pollution. Secondly, dedicating spare time as a volunteer gets students exposed to real life, thereby accumulating many life experiences. Moreover, they would receive greatly chances to practice and improve social skills such as listening to others, making conversations or team-working. Such advantages can turn out to be very fruitful for a teenager’s future.
Besides, teenagers required to engage in non-profit jobs for community purposes would bring people closer together and help save a large amount of money, so that it can be allocated for more improvements of the local area. In addition, there are various negative habits such as drinking or gambling which students might easily slip into if family and school are lack of orientation as well as proper controls. Therefore, getting involved in volunteer activities would be a beneficial alternative and help reduce those negative behaviours.
In conclusion, the notion of doing volunteer work in free time should be supported due to its plenty of benefits for both community and teenagers in the long term.
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Thank you very much!
Here is my IELTS writing. Could you please check and give me some advice to improve it?
Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.
Do you agree or disagree?
---------------------------------------------------
It is sometimes argued that teenage students should be demanded to serve the community in their free time by doing unpaid work. There might have different reactions to this view, but this idea is entirely justifiable and needs to be approved of after all.
Participating in community activities during adolescence help students nurture good characteristics and develop practical skills. Firstly, community works offer opportunities for teenagers to do things that not only make their local area a better place, but have positive impacts on their personal qualities. For example, helping the disabled in hospitals would cultivate the sense of sharing and caring; or by collecting rubbish in their neighbourhood, students would increase the awareness of environmental pollution. Secondly, dedicating spare time as a volunteer gets students exposed to real life, thereby accumulating many life experiences. Moreover, they would receive greatly chances to practice and improve social skills such as listening to others, making conversations or team-working. Such advantages can turn out to be very fruitful for a teenager’s future.
Besides, teenagers required to engage in non-profit jobs for community purposes would bring people closer together and help save a large amount of money, so that it can be allocated for more improvements of the local area. In addition, there are various negative habits such as drinking or gambling which students might easily slip into if family and school are lack of orientation as well as proper controls. Therefore, getting involved in volunteer activities would be a beneficial alternative and help reduce those negative behaviours.
In conclusion, the notion of doing volunteer work in free time should be supported due to its plenty of benefits for both community and teenagers in the long term.
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Thank you very much!
Top answer
It is sometimes argued that teenag ers students should be obliged demanded to serve the community in their free time by doing unpaid work. There might have be different reactions to this view s on this , but as far as I am concerned, this idea it is an entirely reasonable and justifiable suggestion. justifiable and needs to be approved of after all.
- It is sometimes argued that teenag ers students should be obliged demanded to serve the community in their free time by doing unpaid work.
- There might have be different reactions to this view s on this , but as far as I am concerned, this idea it is an entirely reasonable and justifiable suggestion.
- justifiable and needs to be approved of after all.
- Participating in community activities work or projects during adolescence hel ps students nurture good characteristics and develop practical skills.
- Firstly, community wor k offe rs opportunities for teenagers to do things that not only make their local area a better place, but have positive impacts on their personal qualities.
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1 Answers
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It is sometimes argued that teenagers students should be obliged demanded to serve the community in their free time by doing unpaid work. There might have be different reactions to this views on this, but as far as I am concerned, this idea it is an entirely reasonable and justifiable suggest
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