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Huynguyen158 Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Please help me correct this IELTS writing!
Hi teachers,
Could you please help me correct this short writing? Thank you very much!
The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
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The bar charts illustrate what jobs graduate and postgraduate students in the UK worked in 2008 as they did not have a full-time one.
Overall, there was a similarity between two groups of students in all categories concerned, except for part-time work, which was chosen by a relatively large number of postgraduates. Also, further study was the most preferred option for students from both groups.
The number of graduates chose to study further after finishing college was 29 665, which made it the most popular destination for graduate students since they did not apply for a full-time job. By contrast, voluntary work was the least chosen, at 3500 people, while the number of graduates chose to do part-time jobs was 17 735, slightly higher than the unemployment figure, which was 16 235 people.
In terms of postgraduate students, the figure for further education was still the highest, at 2 725 people, whereas that for voluntary work was the lowest, at 345 people. Meanwhile, many postgraduates chose to do part-time jobs, at 2 535 people, which was comparatively high when compared to that opted for further study. Also, there were 1 625 postgraduates chose to remain unemployed.
Could you please help me correct this short writing? Thank you very much!
The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
---------------------------------------------------------
The bar charts illustrate what jobs graduate and postgraduate students in the UK worked in 2008 as they did not have a full-time one.
Overall, there was a similarity between two groups of students in all categories concerned, except for part-time work, which was chosen by a relatively large number of postgraduates. Also, further study was the most preferred option for students from both groups.
The number of graduates chose to study further after finishing college was 29 665, which made it the most popular destination for graduate students since they did not apply for a full-time job. By contrast, voluntary work was the least chosen, at 3500 people, while the number of graduates chose to do part-time jobs was 17 735, slightly higher than the unemployment figure, which was 16 235 people.
In terms of postgraduate students, the figure for further education was still the highest, at 2 725 people, whereas that for voluntary work was the lowest, at 345 people. Meanwhile, many postgraduates chose to do part-time jobs, at 2 535 people, which was comparatively high when compared to that opted for further study. Also, there were 1 625 postgraduates chose to remain unemployed.
Top answer
The bar charts illustrate what jobs graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time employment did in the UK worked in 200 8. as they did not have a full-time one. Overall, there was a similarity between the two groups of students in all categories concerned, except for part-time work, which was chosen by accounted for a relatively large number of postgraduates.
- The bar charts illustrate what jobs graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time employment did in the UK worked in 200 8.
- as they did not have a full-time one.
- Overall, there was a similarity between the two groups of students in all categories concerned, except for part-time work, which was chosen by accounted for a relatively large number of postgraduates.
- Also, further study was the most preferred option for students from in both groups.
- The number of graduates who chose to further study further after finishing college was 2 9, 665, which made it the most popular destination option for graduate students since they who did not apply for take a full-time job.
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4 Answers
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The bar charts illustrate what jobs graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time employment did in the UK worked in 2008. as they did not have a full-time one.
Overall, there was a similarity between the two groups of students in all categories concerned, except for part-time work, whichwas chosen by
Overall, there was a similarity between the two groups of students in all categories concerned, except for part-time work, which
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Thank you for your help, teechr. I have some questions, could you please explain them to me?
The number of graduates who choseWhy cantofurther studyfurtherafter finishing college was 29,665, which made it the most populardestinationoption for graduate studentssince theywho did notapply fortake a full-time job.
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huynguyen158Why can't I imply "cause and effect relationship" in this sentence?"Since" is potentially problematic in that sentence because it could imply that not taking the full-time job made further study a popular option.
huynguyen158Is the use of "part-time work" to avoid repetition?Not just that; "do a job" has a diff
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huynguyen158The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.It's worth noting that in the UK, people graduate from university, not college. That is because the words university and college don't mean the same thing, there. See the introduction of the article here
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