Please help me correct this IELTS essay
The map shows us two stages of development of a city hospital with its surroundings from above in the year 2007 and 2010 respectively. As we can see, the road access in 2007 looks simpler than the one in 2010 as it only comprises three roads, two of which are named Hospital Road and City Road respectively with the former spanning vertically and directly connecting the road that encircles the hospital which is called Ring Road with the rest of the world in which the latter is seen laid horizontally and crossed by the former forming an intersection. There is also a car park for both staff and public by the right side of hospital road.
Moving on to 2010, the arrangement now looks complex as compared to the one in 2007. There are now two roundabouts to which a Bus Station is connected. One of the roundabouts overlapped the intersection while the other is built on the 3-way junction in front of the hospital. Public now has its own separate car park located right on the right side of the hospital across the ring road while the Staff Car Park remains the same but it’s now staff only. The objects on both sides of the Hospital Road that appeared to be some sort of road decorations in the 2007 sketch seem to have been removed.
Please help correct the above text if you find any errors and which IELTS band score do you think fits this text?
Thanks in advance!
Top answer
htm If you are writing about a figure, diagram or other illustration, please attach an image of what you are writing about. We cannot assess your writing if we can't see the figure.
- htm If you are writing about a figure, diagram or other illustration, please attach an image of what you are writing about.
- We cannot assess your writing if we can't see the figure.
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0I have also written my own comparison of these changes. I'd appreciate if some one can point out my mistakes. ^^
Over the course of three years, local authorities have made significant efforts in upgrading the city hospital infrastructures, especially its road access system, making it much more convenient for the hospital's staffs and the public.
First of all, to reduce traf
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