Please help me correct this essay. Thanks a lot!

Topic: Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

My answer:

There is no doubt that tourist are becoming more developed in the world. However, there is debate whether tourism has negative or positive impacts on culture. In my opinion, tourism industry offers distinctive advantages to culture of a country.

On negative side, tourism might cause some issues to cultural preservation. Firstly, it would lead to tension and conflict in these historical sites. In fact, some tourists tend to offend local culture without clearly understanding of these sites causing conflict between local residents and visitors. Secondly, the culture of a country is likely to be oblivious by other culture of native nations. For example, in the past of Vietnamese history, Chinese culture was taught throughout Viet Nam by monks largely. As a result, Vietnamese tradition and culture partly were impacted on seriously and even lost into obvilion.

On positive side, with the development of tourism, historical and cultural sites improved. Firstly, in order to attract more visitors, the authorities of these areas would invest more money on preserving and enriching culture considerably. Some historical heritages were constructed significantly in some Eastern countries to gain attention of international visitors per year. Secondly, tourism industries celebrate some festivals related to ancient history annually which helps to introduce history and culture to over the world. Consequently, people in the world would obtain a wealth of knowledge of tradition and custom in other regions and share their family, friends.

In conclusion, while I agree that developed tourism might have some negatives on local culture, I do believe that it create more opportunities for the cultural preservation.