Please help me correct this essay. Im going to take a Toeic writing test.

Some companies give their employees long vacation instead of raising payment.
Should employers compensate employees this way? Why or why not?
Give reasons or examples to support your opinion.

Finding out the proper way to treat employees has always been a challenge to many managers. Some companies tend to extend the workers' vacation rather than increase their salary. In my opinion, this is a brilliant idea because it will improve their job satisfaction, enhance their productivity and healthcare, and save money for the company.

First, having a longer holiday will definitely boost the job satisfaction of employees. It is believed that working continuously for long hours may cause several stresses. Even when you can reward their efforts with money, there is no point in having money while you do not have time to spend it. Moreover, money cannot buy happiness, but a long vacation can. Imagine that if you can spend more precious time with your family and friends, as well as your co-workers, you will be much happier and fulfilled.

Second, it is likely that longer breaks result in better health conditions and higher productivity. If you have some time to relax, your health will be improved both physically and mentally. Many reports have shown that some diseases like obesity, heart attack, or depression are often caused by overwork. Therefore, if we can reduce the working hours, we will live a healthier life, which leads to work efficiency. Also, after a break, we usually perform in our best conditions so that we can increase our productivity at work.

Finally, not spending more money on raising the salary level will obviously save the company's budget while maintain or even boost overall productivity as mentioned above. Employers may use this money for other purposes such as for trading goods, investing, or marketing, which can bring more profits and advantages to the company.

In conclusion, though raising payment is a good idea, giving a long vacation is a more effective solution for either employers or employees. Employees being treated like that seem to fulfill their job expectations, have better health and working conditions while employers can save money for the company.