Please help me correct this essay (ielts writing task 2)

Topic:

People have a stronger liking for bad news, such as crimes and wars than good news. Therefore, many people believe that more bad news should be broadcast.

What is your opinion?

My essay:

As a matter of fact, many people take a view that negative news like crimes or wars should be dispersed widely. From a personal vantage point, good and bad news should be set an a balanced level.

It can be undeniable that bad news offers certain merits. First, it is of paramount importance in the development of some sectors of media. As a consequence of the higher the general viewing figures, it provides the handsome income to who engage in media field like reporters, journalists, correspondents and so forth. Indeed, their quality of life will be higher. Second, in terms of society, such news is likely to raise people's awareness of on-going social problems. For example, due to the coverage about criminal, residents are vigilant for their assets. Without these news, individuals tend to be unconscious of the latest current affairs, hence, they can not shield themselves from crimes or catastrophes incidents.

Nevertheless, positive news also play a key role in our public. the first point is that a majority of such coverage can reinforce individuals' belief in humanity. To illustrate, there are certain cases that volunteers devoting their time and financial resources to rush to the aid of those in need. It certainly generates a positive outlook for our community. Furthermore, our lives has both curses and blessings, positive thinking can make people feel happier and more hopeful.

All things considered, although I do acknowledge the bad news' benefits, good news still is a contributing factor influencing social's belief.