Please help me correct this essay!

Question: write an essay to express your opinion about this saying "Money can buy everything". Do you agree with it? Give your own idea? ( about 120- 180 words)

Answer:

Some people believe that having money means having everything that they want. From my perspective, this idea is completely flawed.

Firstly, people who have a large budget might not have a good health. As money can be used to treat some common diseases like cool or fever, no medicines are bought to treat HIV or cancer. Furthermore, the weakness always comes along with the age, no one can live forever.

Secondly, money can not change into love, especially the true love between a man and a woman. A couple has a real love only when they really love each other, and this kind of emotion is lifelong. But there are many people who love others just because of substance abuse and they would leave when others are out of money.

For the reasons above, I believe that money can not buy everything.