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Huynguyen158 Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me correct this essay

Hi teachers,
This is my IELTS essay. Could you please check and give me some advice to improve it? Thank you very much!

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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It is true that economic growth has become the most primary aim in development policy of many countries. However, I believe that governments should not underplay other types of progress to avoid negative consequences in the long term.

On the one hand, economic development represents a feasible solution for reducing the poverty and unemployment as well as raising the quality of life. Firstly, developing the economy helps boost the average income, thereby improving living standards of citizens. In addition, more jobs would be created when governments promote business activities. This greatly contributes to the decrease in unemployment, which is a major problem of any one economy due to its negative impacts on society such as increases in poverty and social evils, or financial pressure on governments in terms of expenditure for social insurance programs. Secondly, if the economy grew rapidly, governments would collect more tax revenue. These amounts of money could be employed in upgrading the infrastructures or allocating for public policies and programs to serve the communities better.

On the other hand, some argue that governments should not decline in the importance of other types of growth in the pursuit of sustainable development. In fact, economic advancement has a symbiotic relationship with the progress in many other areas where they lay the foundation for an advanced economy. For example, development in education would increase the numbers of highly-skilled workforce while that in technology helps to raise productivity and create new markets by producing new machines and products. Therefore, if economic progress were given precedence over others, there would be negative consequences in the long term despite several beneficial aspects in the short term.

In conclusion, although economic advancement is a critical goal, this would not outweigh other types of progress. Economic prosperity could only be achieved as it is built on the balance and sustainability.
  

Top answer

It is true that economic growth has become the most primary aim the foremost objective in the development policy of many countries. However, I believe that governments should not underplay underestimate other types of progress to avoid negative consequences which are just as important in the long term. On the one hand, economic development represents a feasible solution for reducing the poverty and unemployment as well as raising the standard of living.

  • It is true that economic growth has become the most primary aim the foremost objective in the development policy of many countries.
  • However, I believe that governments should not underplay underestimate other types of progress to avoid negative consequences which are just as important in the long term.
  • On the one hand, economic development represents a feasible solution for reducing the poverty and unemployment as well as raising the standard of living.
  • quality of life.
  • Firstly, developing the economy helps boost the average income, thereby improving living standards of citizens.
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5 Answers
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It is true that economic growth has become the most primary aim the foremost objective in the development policy of many countries. However, I believe that governments should not underplay underestimate other types of progress to avoid negative consequences which are just as important in the long term.

On the one hand, economic
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Thank you, teechr. I have two questions:

1. Is there any difference between underplay and underestimate?
Governments should not underplay underestimate other types of progress to avoid negative consequences which are just as important in the long term.
According to dictionary:
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huynguyen1581. Is there any difference between underplay and underestimate?
Yes, there is. To me, "underplay" connotes a more intentional/calculated act than "underestimate."
huynguyen1582. Is there any difference between the two sentences below?
huynguyen158With rapid economic growth, governments col
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Opps! I didn't notice it.Emotion: big smile Thank you, teechr.

Best regards,

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