Please Help Me Correct This Cause/Effect Essay And Give Comments. Thank You.

This week we are assigned to write an academic cause/effect essay. We were asked to use block organization and only pay much attention to either the causes or the effects. I hope you'll correct our essay and give us comments. Thank you very much. We appreciate it.

Topic: Causes and effects of domestic violence against children and women.

Block organization - Main focus: Causes

A happy family starts from getting married, having children, then building love among members. However, not all families formed like that are happy families. There are many cases of women and children being abused by men in their families, which is often referred to as domestic violence. That men committing domestic violence against their families has become the issue of the whole society, which is frequently caused by patriarchy, social vices, and financial pressures.

The first and most prominent cause of domestic violence is patriarchy. Throughout history, patriarchy has allowed men to claim themselves as superiors in society (Dobash and Dobash, 1979, as cited in Arthur and Clark, 2009). As a result, men have given themselves the right to control their wives and children. This situation is more severe in African, East Mediterranean, and South-East Asian countries where patriarchy is strongly supported (Chalabi, 2014). This patriarchal mindset is the root cause of all conflicts and affrays inside families as many men abuse other family members without hesitation. Unfortunately, women and children are expected to confine the breadwinners because of their culture and their acceptance of being inferiors.

Men entangled in social vices can also be the cause of domestic violence. Men are thought to be easily involved in alcoholism and drug addiction, which leads to offensive, unconscious behaviors towards their wives and children. According to Faubion (2010), “People who abuse drugs or alcohol are more susceptible to someone who is abusive. A person’s need for acceptance or money to support their habit may cause them to be vulnerable to domestic abuse.” The violence will peak when the addicts are prevented from using drugs by their families because they are not satisfied. As a result, they use their power to hurt and force their families to have money. Besides the two vices mentioned, gambling is also one of the cases causing violence which helps gamblers receive money to continue their corruption or vent their anger when they lose.

Financial stress is the third factor that contributes to domestic violence. Generally, economic burden, unemployment, or debt are common causes of stress in families, leading to pressures, tensions, and deadlocks among members. Unless these issues are addressed properly, they can quickly escalate into confrontations and break the family’s happiness. According to White and James (2010), “Domestic violence is three times more likely to occur when couples are experiencing high levels of financial strain.” Therefore, it is obvious that financial stress may link with domestic violence, and it worsens the family's status.

Although the mentioned violent actions are unacceptable and are fiercely condemned in society, they continue to occur in many families every day. It is undeniable that acts of violence will lead to significant effects on members of the family.

Indeed, there are three main negative impacts of family violence. The first effect is family tensions. Secondly, children live with a violent father suffering from depression and fear for a long time; consequently, their behavior has been affected seriously and changed for the worse. Finally, another impact is getting a divorce when a woman cannot stand violence from her husband anymore after a long period.

In summary, domestic violence, a type of abuse that causes both psychological and physical harm, often results from patriarchy, social vices, and financial pressures. It will, in turn, lead to tensions in the family, divorce, and even impact on children. Therefore, men should control themselves so as not to abuse their family members.

REFERENCES:

• Arthur, C., & Clark, R. (2009). DETERMINANTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: A Cross-National Study. International Journal of Sociology of the Family, 35(2), 147–167. http://www.jstor.org/stable/23070721
• Doblash, E. R., & Doblash, R. P. (1979). Violence against Wives. Free Press.
• Chalabi, M. (2014, April 7). How Violence Against Women in the U.K. Compares to Stats Across the World. FiveThirtyEight. Retrieved October 19, 2021, from https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/how-violence-against-women-in-the-u-k-compares-to-stats-across-the-world/
• Faubion, D. (2020). What Are The Causes Of Domestic Violence. Better Help. Retrieved October 20, 2021, from https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/domestic-violence/what-are-the-causes-of-domestic-violence/
• Rebecca, W., & James, P. (2010). Domestic violence spikes amid financial stress. Chron. Retrieved October 19, 2021, fromhttps://www.chron.com/opinion/outlook/article/Domestic-violence-spikes-amid-financial-stress-1714927.php?fbclid=IwAR3toA7q-E7FEZmTULcbu8i5nkBwbU5z0HQsAhsIKszYQnkKHI8dobHrxWo.