Please help me correct my writing. Thank you so much.

Ielts writing task 2.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Topic: Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

ANSWER:
There are some opinions about whether or not should we make foreign language a mandatory subject in schools. While I think learning a second language is a good thing to do, I completely agree that forcing children to learn a new language is not a good idea.
There are numerous reasons why studying a foreign language will be benefit for school children in the future. First, they can have access to many sources of documents where they can find the information they need. For example, if students need to do a project or assignment about another country, it will be more efficient to find the related data in another language. Second, along with the globalization, it is an advantage for youngsters to know two or three languages. Because it will help to broaden one’s horizon since learning language usually comes with learning about their culture too. And by doing so, children
can have a breakthrough in the searching of valuable knowledge that will be a benefit when they working in the future. Finally, the youngster can enjoy many forms of entertainment that is not only in their mother-tongue, by learning a new language they can understand fully what they are reading or watching.
However, I still believe that forcing children to study a foreign language is not going to work for them. First of all, not every child wants to learn a new language that the school provides. If they do not see its benefit, they will not find the need to study them. For example, it is clear that not every school will give the children the chance of studying whatever language they want but usually just some popular one. Because of that, if the language they wish to study is not on that list, they will not want to be force to study them. Second, they cannot find their motivation through compulsion. Language is a subject that can only be learned efficiently with enthusiasm and interest, so if they do not enjoy the process of studying there is no way they can actually learn it.
In conclusion, I think that encouraging children to learn a foreign language is a better solution than forcing them.