Please help me correct my writing task 2

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Topic: At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think this is overall a positive or negative trend.

It is true that in the 21^st century, the resident population in some countries is largely consists of younger generation rather than that of the elderly. While this has several positive consequences, I believe it is overall a negative trend.

On the one hand, there are several benefits that can be identified. Firstly, the young generation, particularly those under 30, contributes a great deal to the efficiency of the economy and the development of the country. They are often considered as the core of a country’s workforce because they have the strength, the intellect, and the resilient that enable great possibilities when working as well as studying. It is a common maxim nowadays that the children are the backbone of the economy. Secondly, with a fewer population of older people, it can relieve some of the burdens that take a toll on society. Senior residents are the main target of many problems such as the deprecation of body’s function, weaken metabolism and often relies on others family member to provide for them. Consequently, it would be difficult for the government to function properly.

On the other hand, if we discuss this matter in further detail, we can see that there are always two sides of the coin. The larger the number of young people, the over-abundance of people that can participate in the workforce. This could lead to a higher chance of unemployment for the young individual. This problem will be compounded by the fact that younger people have to take responsibility to provide for the elderly as well. As a result, it will put them under severe strain and prevent them from having a fulfilling life.

In conclusion, although having more labor force can be beneficial to any society. The fact that the unemployment rate and hard economic climate it can cause overshadowed its merits.