Please help me correct my Task 2 Essay

Please help me correct my essay. Thank you so much.

Topic: Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sport is usually defined as a physical activity, in which, participants take part to serve different purposes. Therefore, opinions are divided as to whether sport has any value for the community or it is merely a leisure-based activity.

As a matter of fact, many modern sports these days simply gravitate towards players’ pleasure without bringing many physical values. Take E-sport an example. E-sport is actually a form of online game, in which, gamers partake to satisfy their peer-group demand. The more crowded it is, the more excitement gamers will get through their friends’ encouragement during a match. As a result, this activity is often considered by many adults not to be a literal sport as it only has a pleasure-serving purpose and does not require many physical tasks as well.

On the contrary, there are myriad benefits that sports could bring to not only an individual, but society as a whole. Playing sports will not just improve one’s motor skills like hand-eye coordination, but it is also good for one’s health. It is undoubtedly that many doctors recommend their patients to take part in an appropriate sport to enhance their overall well-beings. Being involved in a physical activity will help increase blood flow, thereby improving productivity and effectiveness of the body’s internal organs. This will, in the long run, reduce the health-related financial burden on government. Hence, they could use this money to invest in other sectors to facilitate residents’ living standards, which is beneficial for the public in general.

In conclusion, although there are some sports that are only pleasure-focused, yet I strongly believe a majority of sports are aimed at not only an individual’s benefit, but the common good as well, thereby, playing a vital role in society as a whole.