Please help me correct my paper

Question

0 It's what I wrote and I can't be sure that it's correct in grammar and the way of writing. I think that  I make some mistakes. I really don't know how to write well, so i will be very happy if I recieve some help from you. 02br00    "  In this century,human have a great chance to be more long-lived.The reason why we can enjoy this fact is that there 's a lot of brilliant improvements in science and technology, especially in medicine. People themselve who live in narrow and crowded cities are those who understand this fact the best. They are looked after by skillful nurses and doctors.They also receive new prescriptions from the doctors which are very effective in curing people of deadly deseases. 02br00The regimen of people is more and more improved. Science and technology help people realize what nutrilites, vitamins, and minerals are necessary for their bodies. When people are prosperous and have a lot of spare time , they may spend more time in playing sport and feel that the life is more meaning. In sum up, those above-mentioned furthermore help people improve their longevity.   " 02br00         Kind regards, 02br00          Khai Minh 0-

Julielai · Accepted Answer

0 In this century,human *are living longer than ever.The reason why we can enjoy this *is that there 's a lot of *improvements in science and technology, especially in medicine. People *themselve (typo) who live in *narrow (are all cities narrow?) and crowded cities are those who understand this *fact (awkward) the best. They are looked after by skillful nurses and doctors. They also receive new prescriptions from the doctors which are very effective in curing people of deadly deseases (*really?). 02br
00The regimen of people is more and more improved (awkward0. Science and technology help people realize what *nutrilites (what are you trying to say?), vitamins, and minerals are necessary for their bodies. When people are prosperous and have a lot of spare time , they may spend more time *in (prep) playing *sport and feel that the life *is more meaning. *In sum up, those above-mentioned furthermore help people improve their longevity. " 0-

Luve · Answer

0 To julielai, 02br
02br
00You guy did a very great job on helping others over their writing. As well as other moderator in this forum is so helpful and awesome. Thanks you so much for your contribution for all of us. 02br
02br
00Anyway, could you recommend us as most weak writers were non-english speaker on how to improve and overcome this writing problem? Thanks in advance. luve 0-

Julielai · Answer

0 Hi luve, 02br
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00I'm not a native speaker myself, though I try my best to sound like one. 02br
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00I suggest you work on your grammar first and go from there. 02br
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00Cheers. 0-

Luve · Answer

0 I need you helping me over this, my grammar is my main problems. Thanks in advance 02br
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00I went to Circuit City, one of the electronic shops in the area, for a new portable PSP product from SONY which have just released this several months. I pretended to be a customer who wants to buy one of this hottest PSP, which combined of movie, music, and game in one single portable machine. One of the friendliest staff walked to me and asked if I want any helps. He introduced himself using a premium approach. 02br
02br
00As far as the conversation started, he using product approach by described directly features of the product, its advantages, and benefits as a unique, portable, and user friendly PSP machine on the market. After presented his product, he asked several questions related to my daily life in using a portable music, games, and as well as video player. He used direct questions to find out information from me and converted to benefits that match with the features of the product. 02br
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00This salesperson started approaching me with his through benefits, advantages, and its uniqueness. The way he described is well organized and interested. He asked me whether I want to buy three difference product of game consoles, video and music player separately while PSP from SONY gave me all of these features in one single product. He compared advantages of this product with other products which save customers a lot of money, easy to carry out, and user-friendly. I told him about my concerns whether it is the right product for me or not due to the higher price and it a new product on the market. He smiled and responded very effectively by provided a year guaranty and customer service benefits which released all of my concerns. 02br
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00In addition, I said that I’ve got to think it over this time while he understand and gave a good respond to my condition. He noticed that I am interested in this product. He also gave some benefit of buying at this time as a sales discount for ten to twenty percents off. When I change to make an order, he helped me over in completion payment, packaged, and gave a receipt and provided necessary information for the future if I am not satisfied with the product. 02br
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00This salesperson used an effective communication skill, a good listener, a verbal and non-verbal presentation, used body language, good eyes contact, physical appearance in a good condition and enthusiasm for product and his company. 02br
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00In conclusion, this salesperson is outstanding. Strong communication skill and verbal approach were his strength. He’s very friendly and outgoing, the way he response and talk are effective in approaching customers, well understand what customers need and want over the product, and what customer concern and their objective. However, I noticed that he ineffective in closing the order while customer need time to think it over. He should approach or use difference strategies that may work well to continue approaching customers rather than to lose them. However, I am interested and confident to rate him 4 out of 5. I believed that the more this kind of salesperson, the more sales it could be. 0-

Anonymous · Answer

0 01blockquote

01cite10Luve12cite10To julielai, 12br
12br
10You guy did a very great job on helping others over their writing. As well as other moderator in this forum is so helpful and awesome. Thanks you so much for your contribution for all of us. 12br
12br
10Anyway, could you recommend us as most weak writers were non-english speaker on how to improve and overcome this writing problem? Thanks in advance. luve12blockquote

10The second meeting was held at Sally Ann house on April 21, 2007 at 4:00Pm 0-

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