Please help me correct my Ielts writing task 2 . Thank you very much.

Question

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

It is believed that taxpayers’ money should be expended on the prevention of illness rather than treating patients. In my opinion, both should be equally funded.

On the one hand, the government had better pay close attention to elevate a healthy lifestyle as it is unswervingly linked to human resistance against a vast number of illnesses. In point of fact, some detrimental habits such as drinking alcohol or using drugs are able to cause a number of diseases consisting of alcoholism or addiction. Furthermore, individuals who lead a deskbound lifestyle owing to either intense study or work also suffer from back pain or short-sight. Most of the cases that doctors have met are victims who are less aware of their daily routines bringing much damage to their body, and the worst thing is when working in such a harsh environment, both students and working people do not have time to exercise or stretch the whole body. The administration’s contribution is therefore crucial as they can launch propagation campaigns to heighten social awareness or set up more public facilities such as parks as workout locations for residents to physical exercise.

On the other hand, alike funding might be endowed for building hospitals, modernizing facilities, and creating more prescriptions. As a matter of fact, there are more tomb threats from infection like Covid-19 or unforeseen accidents on the streets, which stresses the treatment requirement and the growth of healthcare services. Unless the need of discovering new cures and improving quality of service allocate more vital amounts of money, there would be more victims and casualties. This is no less significant and imperative than promoting a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion, both of these above-mentioned features are duty-bound to be equally and simultaneously developed by any governments.

Bonnie Khanh · Accepted Answer

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

It is believed that taxpayers’ money should be expended on the prevention of illness rather than treating patients. In my opinion, both should be equally funded.

On the one hand, the government had better pay close attention to elevate a healthy lifestyle as it is unswervingly linked to human resistance against a vast number of illnesses. In point of fact, some detrimental habits such as drinking alcohol or using drugs are able to cause a number of diseases consisting of alcoholism or addiction. Furthermore, individuals who lead a deskbound lifestyle owing to either intense study or work also suffer from back pain or short-sight. Most of the cases that doctors have met are victims who are less aware of their daily routines bringing much damage to their body, and the worst thing is when working in such a harsh environment, both students and working people do not have time to exercise or stretch the whole body. The administration’s contribution is therefore crucial as they can launch propagation campaigns to heighten social awareness or set up more public facilities such as parks as workout locations for residents to physical exercise.

On the other hand, alike funding might be endowed for building hospitals, modernizing facilities, and creating more prescriptions. As a matter of fact, there are more tomb threats from infection like Covid-19 or unforeseen accidents on the streets, which stresses the treatment requirement and the growth of healthcare services. Unless the need of discovering new cures and improving quality of service allocate more vital amounts of money, there would be more victims and casualties. This is no less significant and imperative than promoting a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion, both of these above-mentioned features are duty-bound to be equally and simultaneously developed by any governments.

Bonnie Khanh · Answer

This is the topic from Ielts writing task 2. I need your help. Thank you so much

Question

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

Essay

It is believed that taxpayers’ money should be expended on the prevention of illness rather than treating patients. In my opinion, both should be equally funded.

On the one hand, the government had better pay close attention to elevate a healthy lifestyle as it is unswervingly linked to human resistance against a vast number of illnesses. In point of fact, some detrimental habits such as drinking alcohol or using drugs are able to cause a number of diseases consisting of alcoholism or addiction. Furthermore, individuals who lead a deskbound lifestyle owing to either intense study or work also suffer from back pain or short-sight. Most of the cases that doctors have met are victims who are less aware of their daily routines bringing much damage to their body, and the worst thing is when working in such a harsh environment, both students and working people do not have time to exercise or stretch the whole body. The administration’s contribution is therefore crucial as they can launch propagation campaigns to heighten social awareness or set up more public facilities such as parks as workout locations for residents to physical exercise.

On the other hand, alike funding might be endowed for building hospitals, modernizing facilities, and creating more prescriptions. As a matter of fact, there are more tomb threats from infection like Covid-19 or unforeseen accidents on the streets, which stresses the treatment requirement and the growth of healthcare services. Unless the need of discovering new cures and improving quality of service allocate more vital amounts of money, there would be more victims and casualties. This is no less significant and imperative than promoting a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion, both of these above-mentioned features are duty-bound to be equally and simultaneously developed by any governments.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Bonnie Khanh To what extent do you agree or disagree?

That is the essay prompt. It is in the task you have been given.

You have to answer this question.

Bonnie KhanhIn my opinion, both should be equally funded.

You did not answer the question.

If your teacher asks "What is two plus two?"

And you answer, "I think addition is cool."

Oh dear!

In education, it is very very important to read the instructions carefully.

Please help me correct my Ielts writing task 2 . Thank you very much.

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