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Giang hoang Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me correct my Ielts writing task 2 . Thank you very much.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Many efforts have been put in world agriculture to reach considerable achievements; however, hunger still covers a lot of areas around the world, which might be the result of poverty and also the unequal distribution of conditions in diverse areas. To limit the issue, everyone should be encouraged to contribute their effort to help disadvantaged people by donating and creating chances for them.

Despite the improvement of agriculture, many people in the world still go hungry because of financial lack. Even though there is a food store with fulfilling supplies, it is still nonsense for them since they have no money to pay. In developing countries, especially in some poor local areas, similar issues occur. The government cannot afford the food price, leading to the hunger of citizens living there. Besides, another reason causing hunger can be the different conditions in diverse areas. Some have extreme weather, which does not allow them to grow any food crops, resulting in the lack of food in surrounding areas.

The only solution to help people get out of this situation is that we need to reunite between humans and humans. People should be encouraged to support populations who experience serve food insecurity by donating money and also food. Since some poor areas have issues in growing their own food, it is essential to reduce the price of food import and export. Moreover, there are many organizations that often campaign and also go directly to those areas to help to maintain food security.

In conclusion, poverty and unequal distribution of conditions are maybe the main reasons leading to the hunger of people in those areas. With support from different countries, people in poor areas can improve their living conditions and limit food insecurity.

  

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Some of your writing is very vague and does not make sense. If you write with more specific information instead of vague generalities, your writing will improve immensely. Here are some data points for this topic.

  • Most of the world's famine is in the poorest nations, mainly Africa.
  • Nations where there is war have a high proportion of hungry people.
  • Climate change has

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