Please help me correct my ielts writing task 2

My topic:

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly http://people.Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

My essay:

With a flourish in medical category, human can live a very comfortable life, especially the elder, they can extend there lifespan and live a healthy life with medical support system. However, this will lead to a surge in the number of old people in the society, which will be a burden for the government. In this essay, I will discuss the reason and give solutions to overcome it.

On the one hand, increasing life expectancy is blessing. As people can live longer, and have more to pursue their dream. But numerous senior citizen will hinder the development of a society. To be precise, government have to pay a load of money to support the medical system to take care of them. Let me clarify, in average, a man will stop working at the age of 65. and he will consider under senior citizen category, then he can receive a small amount of money from the government called pension per month. Take USA for example, as their politics, the people can get medical treatment for free as long as they have bought the insurance, however, in the 2019 Covid Pandemic, the government have to spend 150 billions dollar in order to cure the infected people, mostly the elderly one.

On the other hand, a several solutions are being looked into to solve this problem. Firstly , it's handing the responsibility to the family's member. The government should stop spend money on pension scheme and use that money for other vital sections. Secondly, the government should take step to encourage the retired people to do teaching job, such as guiding the youth the sharpen their skills. For example, in stead of quitting from the job, those people who have been reached the retired aged can stay at the company and become a mentor or teacher to guide the new member of the company.

In conclusion, with numerous old people in the society can be either a stress or blessing. But luckily, thought-provoking ideas have come up such as transferring the responsibility to the family and keeping the ex company's member to do teaching-job seems to be efficient.