Please help me correct my IELTS writing task 2

There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think we should protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spend more time on problems of human beings.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In recent decades, more and more wildlife animals have become extinct. It is argued that people should prevent the number of animals reducing, while others believe humans’ problems should be focused on. I strongly believe that both viewpoints are justifiable. But I personally lean towards the former.

On the one hand, people are facing a huge number of serious problems which happen every year, such as disasters, diseases or wars. This means that the governments have to pour so much money to solve these things to create a stable ecological community. However, these troubles are still existing and it is unable to find good solutions for them. For instance, there is an article from BBC reported that the Coronavirus Pandemic, which is occurring all over the world, has adverse impacts on human beings and killed more than 2 million humans’ lives over one year. In addition, the scientists still have not found the efficient vaccination for this disease. For these reasons, it is difficult for the governments to address these problems thoroughly.

On the other hand, animals are a vital part of the ecosystem and people are co-existing with them. Thus, human beings have enormous responsibility to protect the endangered species from extinction. To illustrate, a recent research by the New York Times found that the reduction of fish in the ocean, which is caused by water pollution, has detrimental impacts on the food chain of many species. As a result, preventing the number of animals is reducing is the best way to lessen negative influences on humans’ lives.

In conclusion, I believe that human beings are the main causes for these problems. Therefore, protecting the animals from dying out is people’s responsibility.