Please help me correct my IELTS Writing Task 2

Topic: Organised tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the people and the environment?

Here is my writing. Hope you correct it soon. Thank you.

The issue of organised tour to remote areas and community is highly debatable. While I agree that tourism has many great benefits, I believe that it also has a huge negative impact on the local people and environment.

Firstly, it is undeniable that organised tour bring the local community a positive development. When an area start to develop tourism, the amount of people increases at that area and then the demand for goods and services also rises. Therefore, the local economy will be boosted that helps to improve the living standard of local people such as education standards and health standards. Tourism not also improves the economy of the area, but also has advantages on socio culture. By its great interactions and exchange, organised tours broaden knowledge about a more civilised society. Besides, it helps for maintenance of the historical buildings, monuments, museums etc.

However, I would support that tourism also brings negative effect to the area. It is true that the more strongly the local tourism develops,the more destruction of environment the area will get. Tourism puts a great pressure on local resources: water pollution, air pollution and the risk of deterioration of the local ecosystem. Although organised tours can popularize the local culture, it also can cause loss of culture identities by the assimilation in culture because of the huge number of tourists that come from many different culture around the world. Tourism also brings religious tolerance when it is not planned, developed and managed properly.

In conclusion, we can not deny the huge benefits of the popularity of the organised tour but it also has negative impacts on the area.