PLEASE HELP ME CORRECT MY IELTS WRITING TASK 2

TOPIC: In many countries, woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because woman are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, the rate of unmarried woman is significantly increasing. One of the undeniable explanations for this issue is that women are more and more independent in financial status and are able to lead a comfortable life without getting marriage. However, in my opinion, there are several other factors which contribute to foster this trend.

It is generally acknowledged that being got access to education, the fair sex has been gradually aware of their individual values. In the heyday of sex equality, women become conscious that they possess sufficient physical and intellectual capability to achieve the same position in society as men instead of standing behind them. As a result, not taking the choice of wasting the youth in supporting the family like the traditional generation, they have desire to establish their own lives and pursue their passions.

Another important explanation may have been concern for the cutting-edge point of view about marriage. In this fast-paced society, love is seemingly taken slightly. It is easy for the youngsters to be in and out of a relationship in the blink of an eye. The marriage certificate is regarded as the handicap interfering with the state of freedom. Moreover, it is a widespread belief that “Marriage is love’s grave”. There is a yawning gap between the period before and after tying the knot. Admittedly, the number of divorces in many countries all over the world has grown in astounding rate. Viewing from this angle, women hold the doubt whether setting up a family is the wise option or not.

In conclusion, it is my firm conviction that besides the reliable income which women are able to supply for themselves, perception of self-value and pessimistic outlook are remarkable reasons generating the women’s indifference to marriage.