Please help me correct my IELTS WRITING task 1

Topic: the chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The bar chart gives information on the number of Australian people’s discretionary on beverage regarding coffee and tea in cities namely Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart. The survey was conducted on the consumption of fresh coffee, instant coffee and the sale of coffee in store in the last four weeks.

Overall, coffee served in store was represented the largest percentage in all cities but Adelaide, over 60% in Sydney, Melbourne, Hobart and 55% in Brisbane. In Adelaide, it was almost equal to that form of instant coffee at 50%. Instant coffee came second in the rank of people’s choice of drinking and fresh coffee was the lowest category in the last four weeks.

The sale of instant coffee in Hobart and that at café in Brisbane was equivalent, 54% and 56% respectively, similarly, there was approximately over a third of the amount of fresh coffee bought in Brisbane and Adelaide. In addition, there was a slight gap between fresh coffee and instant coffee in Sydney and Melbourne, only under 5% lower in each, whereas it was fifteen-percent as far as that in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart.

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