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Minhnguyen Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please Help Me Correct My IELTS Writing Essay

Topic: Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Sending elderly relatives to nursing homes rather than taking care of them at home is becoming increasingly common for many families. In this essay, an attempt will be made to examine upsides and downsides of this trend.

Putting senior citizens in care homes is advantageous in some certain aspects. Initially, they can be offered rapid access to comprehensive and high-quality health services. This is due to the fact that nursing homes are staffed with doctors, registered nurses and other health professionals who are likely to supply them with special medical attention and round-the-clock nursing care. Furthermore, elderly individuals have much opportunity to be in consultation with nutritionists and dietitians on hand in nursing homes so as to ensure that balanced and nourishing meals are daily serviced, thereby shielding them from malnutrition and illness.

Oppositely, it is indubitable that this trend also has considerable disadvantages. The elderly’s freedom, first and foremost, are curtailed when they reside in care homes. For instance, they are merely allowed to eat what is served at specific times throughout the day, and watching television or taking a shower also needs to be kept under the supervision of nursing staff. As a result, the loss of independence can lead to losing of their sense of self-esteem in that they no longer take control of their own life. The second downside is that seniors probably succumb to isolation and lonesomeness that depression causes. It is because they have to leave the only home where they formerly had memorable moments with their family and friends.

In conclusion, much as nursing homes are beneficial regarding the provision of good health services and a dietary regimen, the loss of freedom and falling into depression among older adults are inevitable.

  

Top answer

Sending elderly relatives to nursing homes rather than taking care of them at home is becoming increasingly common for many families. I n this essay, an attempt will be made to examine upsides and downsides of this trend. Improper thesis statement.

  • Sending elderly relatives to nursing homes rather than taking care of them at home is becoming increasingly common for many families.
  • I n this essay, an attempt will be made to examine upsides and downsides of this trend.
  • Improper thesis statement.
  • Never mention your essay or what you are going to write in a thesis statement.
  • Instead, write the main point of your essay.
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Sending elderly relatives to nursing homes rather than taking care of them at home is becoming increasingly common for many families. In this essay, an attempt will be made to examine upsides and downsides of this trend.

Improper thesis statement. Never mention your essay or what you are going to write in a thesis statem

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