Please help me correct my IELTS Writing essay.

Dear teacher,

Please check my IELTS writing essay- Technology

Thank you

There have been major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people’s lives.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, technology are increase common in people’s live by using electronic devices in school or everywhere. While the benefits of such technology are obvious, but I also believe that technology does more harm than good which relying on technology is harmful and that too much dependence on modern technology course both physical and emotional problem.

The development of technology has helped work-based learning to develop. For instance, technology for learning help is blended, by delivered online every courses, so people who are employers do not have to miss work to go to classes and opportunity to develop new skills for workplace from these lessons. In addition, modern technology is that people lives are much more convenient. Typical is in the field of education, it makes lessons more interesting. Finding hands-on information and knowledge becomes easier or more diverse by using internet on electronic devices for both teachers and students, which links academic study closely to practical experience.

However, modern technology also has many negative effects on peoples’ lifestyles. The typical affected audience will be children who may use them from a young age, it links to cause a lot of physical issue. This is because most pupils have unhealthy body when using laptops long-term without of controlling themselves, easier to get headaches by watching the screen for a long time, getting back pain and overweight since they don’t do any exercise. Another impact to children is emotional problem, pupils will easily gain lazy, depressed and addicted, because living far away from the real world, getting separated from family and friends emotionally, for example, children need to develop personal friendship, while computer, smart-phones and others devices separate community from children making it easy for children to “recognize only modern technology not people”. Also their works and studies will neglect and become to burden on their family. As a result, using technology on young children is a risk idea.

To sum it all up, technology has many harmful effects on special people lifestyles with young children. Therefor, to advantage of its benefits, using its in today’s life also need to be strictly controlled to avoid using in wrong ways.