PLEASE HELP ME CORRECT MY IELTS ESSAY TASK II

TOPIC: It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is generally acknowledged that the immense technological progress is one of the major factors which gradually turn the world into a cross-cultural place. People hold the fear that their national conventional custom will be evanesced due to it. I totally disagree with this idea.

On the one hand, Tradition of a country was established from the phase of its birth, which gathering the cream of various eras, ages and empires. Even up until this present moment, it is being constructed on a daily basis. Along the flow of history, the perpetuation of customary values has been proved in a significant number of nations. For instance, Vietnam was dominated by China for even a thousand years not only in territory but also in spiritual lives. Notwithstanding, they resolutely maintain their own precious historical custom in absence of emerging. Unquestionably, there is little chance that the invention of technology is able to overtake the role of original culture.

It cannot be denied that thanks to the social network, people, especially the youngsters, all around the world tends to become international citizens. They speak in a common language and share a remarkable amount of knowledge and experience about their native lands. As a consequence, surges of trends are easily spreading regardless of countries’ borders. However, cultural import is only adopted once it meets the demand of motherland’s lifestyle and devotes to the development of a nation, which requires the extremely careful consideration. In short, the loss of time-honored beauty is not able to occur in all likelihood.

For these reason above, it is my firm conviction that technological expansion could solely convert the appearance of a country, not its core value which is built on classes of predecessors.