Please help me correct my essay. Thank you so much.

Question

Due to the Corona pandemic, lots of schools all over the world have implemented online learning during school closures. Some people think distance-learning programmes can never be as good as courses taken in person. Do you think this is a positive or negative development in education?

Since the Coronavirus has spread over the world, lots of schools allow their students to use the online courses during school closure. Although the virtual class has a positive influence on learning outcomes, there is more drawback compare to the traditional way.

On the one hand, distance learning is more convenient to access the lesson. By using the internet for transmission of knowledge will allow the student to be flexible in their time and places. For example, rural students can join the class without going hundreds of kilometers to their school. Moreover, distance learning would minimize stress for some students fall behind with their studies so they can learn at a suitable pace. In Asia, parents always caring about their child’s grades if the students can’t catch up with classmate will make parents depress so many of them send their child to study more and more extra class.

On the other hand, online learning in which missing communication and contact lead to a minor effect on students. We can recognize that learning via the internet doesn’t help students strengthen communication skills and critical thinking like face-to-face activities do. School is also the place to make friends and understand the relationship in society meanwhile study online can not do that. This can lead to a negative influence on shaping a child’s personality. Furthermore, without a study under supervision, students from every age will be attracted by stuff on the internet.

In conclusion, though deliver the lecture online become more popular, I believe the course taken in person is more effective. Online learning would be a temporary solution to cope with accidental hence the school has to focus more on traditional teaching styles.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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Since the Coronavirus has spread over the world, lots of schools require ~~allow~~ their students to take ~~use~~ ~~the~~ online courses during the time that the school is closed. ~~school closure~~. Although the virtual class has a positive influence on learning outcomes, it is not as good ~~there is more drawback~~ compared (wrong form) to the traditional way.

On the one hand, distance learning is more convenient to access the lesson. By using the internet for transmission of knowledge will allow the student to be flexible in their time and places. For example, rural students can join the class without going hundreds of kilometers to their school. Moreover, distance learning would minimize stress for some students fall behind with their studies so they can learn at a suitable pace. In Asia, parents always caring about their child’s grades if the students can’t catch up with classmate will make parents depress so many of them send their child to study more and more extra class.

The clause structures in your sentences are incorrect and ungrammatical. I will explain each of your sentences individually. I hope that helps you. You are trying to write at an advanced level, but do not yet have the skills to do this.

1. By using the internet for transmission of knowledge will allow the student to be flexible in their time and places.

[ By using the internet for transmission of knowledge ] This is a prepositional phrase. It cannot be the subject of the verb.

will allow [This is your verb. It has no subject}

the student to be flexible in their time and places.

This sentence in not grammatical.
The subject is taking online classes when the school is closed for public safety reasons. "transmission of knowledge" is not appropriate.

I think you need a sentence like this:

Using the internet to take online lessons will allow the student to be flexible in their time and place.

2. For example, rural students can join the class without going hundreds of kilometers to their school.

This is a good sentence, but it certainly is off-topic. The topic is about students already in a school (not living hundreds of kilometers away) who now have to study and take lessons in a virtual classroom because the school is closed.

3. Moreover, distance learning would minimize stress for some students ~~fall behind with their studies so they can learn at a suitable pace.~~

Moreover, distance learning would minimize stress for some students. This part is a complete sentence. It is a good sentence.

fall behind - This is a verb. It has no subject. You cannot stick a verb at the end of a sentence. Make a new sentence, or construct a proper dependent clause.

You need a sentence like this:

Moreover, distance learning would minimize stress for the students who are falling behind in their studies, because they can repeat the lessons and replay them if they do not understand.

4. In Asia, parents always caring about their child’s grades if the students can’t catch up with classmate will make parents depress so many of them send their child to study more and more extra class.

The sentence is very poor English.

The first part need a verb - either a main verb or a relative clause.

In Asia, parents always care about their child’s grades. That is a good sentence. You should end the sentence here.

If the child can not (Do not use a contraction in formal essays) keep up with their classmates, that will make the parents depressed, and many of them will send him to extra classes.

On the other hand, online learning in which missing communication and contact lead to a minor effect on students. (Fragment, noun phrase, not a sentence.) We can recognize that learning via the internet doesn’t (Do not use contractions in formal essays.) help students strengthen communication skills and critical thinking like face-to-face activities do. School is also the place to make friends and understand ~~the~~ their place ~~relationship~~ in society but studying ~~meanwhile study~~ online can not do that. This can lead to a negative influence on shaping a child’s personality. Furthermore, without ~~a study under~~ supervision, students of ~~from~~ every age will be attracted by stuff (wrong word. inappropriate, too informal) on the internet.

In conclusion, though deliver (wrong form) the lecture (wrong word. Lectures are for college and university, not primary or secondary school.) ) online become more popular, (subject-verb disagreement, off-topic) I believe the course taken in person is more effective. Online learning would be a temporary solution to cope with accidental (wrong form) hence the school has to focus more on traditional teaching styles.

There are many issues in the conclusion. It is mostly off-topic. It is not about the popularity of online classes, but this situation with the public health problem. You need a summary like this:

In conclusion, though online classes will serve as a temporary measure to educate children while schools are closed, I believe that classes taken in the classroom with a teacher are more effective and should be resumed as soon as it is safe to do so.

Please help me correct my essay. Thank you so much.

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