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Tuấn Phong Posted 3 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me correct my essay. Thank you!

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Criminal acts have increasingly become a big concern for people’s lives in many countries. Some individuals argue that criminals should be put behind bars longer than usual to diminish the crime rate. This essay will demonstrate why such punishment should not necessarily be implemented.


A convicted criminal should serve a sentence of longer time in prison. This acts as a precursor to spread fear among potential criminals. If a person is aware of the punishment he could face, he will be discouraged from committing crimes. For instance, in the USA, the jury usually sentences a life imprisonment for charges of murdering or terrorism. This acts as a strong deterrent to curb the increasing crime rate in society. The idea that criminals should face longer jail sentences could hinder their efforts to commit crimes again.


However, this situation could be addressed effectively by sufficient provision of proper education systems and employment opportunities. When individual citizens are educated properly in a well-rounded educational environment, it allows them to form a good mindset that is beneficial in their cognitive development. Once this solution is executed widely and appropriately, there are a sheer number of model citizens in society, making a major contribution to build a civilized community. Besides, employment plays a vital role in deterring people from committing crime. Indeed, Since citizens focus on doing their jobs and earning income, they will have no intentions to involve themselves in criminal acts, which is a key factor to promoting economic development in a nation.


In conclusion, although many people advocate the idea of longer imprisonment for those who break the law, I believe the crime rate will be reduced significantly as well-rounded education and employment are available for individuals in the community.

  

Top answer

Criminal acts have increasingly become a big concern for people’s lives in many countries . (That is not good English) Some individuals argue that criminals should be put behind bars longer than usual to diminish lower (wrong verb - not a good collocation) the crime rate. This essay will demonstrate why such punishment should not necessarily be implemented.

  • Criminal acts have increasingly become a big concern for people’s lives in many countries .
  • (That is not good English) Some individuals argue that criminals should be put behind bars longer than usual to diminish lower (wrong verb - not a good collocation) the crime rate.
  • This essay will demonstrate why such punishment should not necessarily be implemented.
  • (That is not good English.
  • "Demonstrate" is not correct.
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1 Answers
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Criminal acts have increasingly become a big concern for people’s lives in many countries. (That is not good English) Some individuals argue that criminals should be put behind bars longer than usual to diminish

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