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Tracy Tran Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me correct my essay . I'd reaaly appreciate if you make some suggestions on how to improve the essay.

WRITING TASK 1

TOPIC : The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101 .


The line graph compares the number of births and deaths of the New Zealand population during the period from 1901 with forecasts to 2101.

It is clear that the mortality has increased in the period shown, but the natality was only on a dramatic rise in the first 50 years and hit a peak in 1906. Overall, the number of births and deaths has experienced a variation with time.

In 1901, the birth rates stood at just over 20000s, whereas the figures for death rates were lower, at about 10000s. In 1961, the number of births reached the highest point of around 66000s and followed by a decline after this date. On a slow steady rise before 2001, the number of deaths has started to rise dramatically since then.

It is estimated that there will be 45000s people born in New Zealand by 2101. Predictably, the death rates are likely to peak at 60000s by 2090, before falling back to around 59000s at the end of the period.

  
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