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Ltduyuit Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me correct my essay for IELTS Writing Task

Topic : In many countries , the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime ? How can we deal with those causes.

Essay :

In modern society , people work and live abiding by the law. However , there are always those who go against the rule and commit crimes. As the rate of crime increase over time , many studies have been done to find out the causes of these evil deeds. In my opinion , there are overall two main reasons for why people become criminals.
Firstly , a common cause for crime is due to the downgrade of economy. As the economy of one country goes into recession , civilians who can no longer sustain life with income , resolve to the act of stealing and thievery. Especially after the spreading of Corona virus pandemic recently , as more and more people are losing their job , the rate of crime keeps increasing. It is at these times that help from the government is of utmost importance. Financially support package or creating more jobs could be an immediate solution to the situation.
Secondly , the cause of crime could reside in the criminal themselves. Some people commit crime not for the money , but for the joy of doing so. Children , who are exposed to too much violence through films or their surrounding environments , have the tendency of exerting the violence and becoming criminal . As a matter of fact , there is a considerable amount of juvenile crimes these days. In my opinion , proper education and orientation by parents and society could help to prevent this kind of crime.
Overall , there are a variety of causes for crime including the two above. It is only when government , society and family join hand and think of solutions that crime can be reduced.
  

Top answer

) the vast majority of people work and live abiding by the law. Howeve r , there are always those who go against the rule and commit crimes. As the rate of crime increase (wrong form) over tim e , many studies have been done to find out the causes of these evil deeds .

  • ) the vast majority of people work and live abiding by the law.
  • Howeve r , there are always those who go against the rule and commit crimes.
  • As the rate of crime increase (wrong form) over tim e , many studies have been done to find out the causes of these evil deeds .
  • In my opinio n , there are overall two main reasons for why people become criminals.
  • Firstly , First, a common cause for crime is due to the downgrade of economy.
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1 Answers
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In modern society , (Do not put a space before a comma.) the vast majority of people work and live abiding by the law. However , there are always those who go against the rule and commit c

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