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Topic: the charts below show what senior high school students in 3 different schools (Beaufort, Westmont and Whitford) spend their money on in 2005.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.The three pie charts illustrate the proportion of senior student's expenditure from high schools namely Beaufort, Westmont and Whitford in 2005. Overall, there are 4 categories regarding video games, food, clothing, movies and music.The expense on video games contributed for the second largest proportion in both Beaufort (28%) and Westmont (25%), whereas it was the most popular category in Whitford - over a third of the number. On the contrary, the proportion of food in Whitford only accounted for 10%, 2 times as low as that in Westmont and less than that in Beaufort for 3 times.Similarly, the percentage of clothing in Whitford was 22%, almost doubled that in Beaufort and tripled that in Westmont. The proportion of expense on movies in Westmont and Whitford was equalled at 28%, in addition, the proportion of movies in Whitford and music in Beaufort hit a dip of 8%.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You wrote less than the minimum of 150 words. You will lose points for that. Aim for 170-190 words in Task 1. Your essay is not well organized. IT is not clear how you divided paragraphs two and three.

The second paragraph should give two or three major observations. The third should give a few interesting details.

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

The three pie charts illustrate (Not a good word choice. Read my advice for Task 1 essays.) the proportion of senior student's expenditure (wrong form. There is more than one of these.) from high schools namely Beaufort, Westmont and Whitford in 2005. Overall, there are 4 (Wrong number. Besides, use words for numbers that are not data values.) categories regarding (wrong word) video games, food, clothing, movies and music.

The expense on video games contributed ~~for~~ the second largest proportion in both Beaufort (28%) and Westmont (25%), whereas it was the ~~most popula~~r largest category in Whitford - over a third of the number. On the contrary, the proportion of food in Whitford only accounted for 10%, half of what it was ~~2 times as low~~ (wrong expression) ~~as that~~ in Westmont and ~~less than~~ one-third that in Beaufort for 3 times. (wrong expression)

Similarly, the percentage of clothing in Whitford was 22%, almost ~~doubled~~ double that in Beaufort and ~~tripled~~ triple that in Westmont. The proportion of expense on movies in Westmont and Whitford was equal ~~equalled~~ at 28%, in addition, the proportion of movies in Whitford and music in Beaufort hit a dip of 8%. (wrong expression)

Suggested essay. This essay is far too long (over 240 words), but it gives you some ideas and vocabulary for this type of essay.

The three pie charts, labeled Beaufort High School, Westmont High School and Whitford High School, break down their senior-year students' expenditures into five categories (video games, music, movies, clothing, and food). Three of these are discretionary expenses, solely for leisure time and entertainment. The remaining two are necessary living expenses, food and clothing.

Overall paragraph:

Overall, these students spent more than half of their money on entertainment items and, among the three categories, video games garnered a higher proportion than either music or movies in all three schools. Beaufort students allocated the most to the essentials, food and clothing, followed by Whitford and then Westmont.

Interesting details:

Westmont students allocated only about a quarter of their funds (26%) to food and clothing, with their entertainment expenses relatively evenly divided among movies (28%), video games (25%) and music (21%). Whitford students spent slight more, about a third (32%), on food and clothing, but of all three schools, they devoted the least to movies, 8%. Seniors in the other two chose to spend around three times as much in that form of entertainment, 22% at Beaufort and 28% at Westmont. At Beaufort, music was the lowest category, the same as movies at Whitford (8%). But they allocated a much larger proportion, 42%, to food and clothing. They were the only ones who had more funds going to food than video games. In contrast, at Whitford they spent more than three times as much on video games than on food.

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