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Chansun Posted 8 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me checking my essay

Hello, I'm Chan and I'm now preparing for Ielts test. Please help me to check my essay. Thanks in advance.

Task 2: Government should spend money on railways rather than road. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Public transportation has long been viewed as the dispensable vehicle of any country. Some people hold the view that building railways should be the first priority than road and government should consider this idea. I totally agree with this and the essay below will analyze the benefits from railways.


To begin with, there are many benefits from railways bring back for not only residents but also governments. First of all, there are no developed countries with modern lifestyle without high speed railways, it is not just for travel but the image of those countries and it will attract tourist visit those cities. Take Singapure as an instant, the most famous parts is public transportation, especially MRT (The Mass Railway Transit). It is really for both citizens and travellers by convenient and easy to use. On the other hand, traffic jam can be reduced by using railways instead of driving their own private cars. To be more specific, when encouraging people to use public transportation, government can solve the traffic jam and even air pollution. To make it happens, government have to invest national budget to build modern system and especially, it must be convenient to use. As a consequence, the living standard of people will be enhanced and the image of those countries will be better.

What is more benefits from railways bring back to citizens. As a matter of fact, the public transportation will save more time and money for people. There is no need to drive home after long day at work and stuck in traffic jam, when travelling by railways, people can take rest and even take a snap in the journey. Hence, they will have time to relax or do other things. Furthermore, more attempts to buy cars may not the first priority anymore, they can save money for various purposes such as buy house or saving for their retirements. From another merit from this vehicle, it will be more safety to people to use. For this reason, there is an associate of accident when people drive home at night after long day at work. In this case, using railways will be the best because it is cheaper than take a taxi and safer than self-driving. Above all, spending money to build railway should be the first priority of government.

To sum up, to invest in infrastructures for a country will be depended in many elements. Nevertheless, comparing between railways and road, I extremely support the idea to develop the high speed raiway system.

  

Top answer

I highlighted most of the errors, and gave feedback on the errors in the first 2-3 paragraphs. Also you need to write a good thesis statement for the first paragraph, and organize the body paragraphs better. Task 2: Government should spend money on railways rather than road s.

  • I highlighted most of the errors, and gave feedback on the errors in the first 2-3 paragraphs.
  • Also you need to write a good thesis statement for the first paragraph, and organize the body paragraphs better.
  • Task 2: Government should spend money on railways rather than road s.
  • To what exten t do you agree or disagree with this statement?
  • ----------- Public transportation has long been viewed as the dispensable vehicle of any country.
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1 Answers
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I highlighted most of the errors, and gave feedback on the errors in the first 2-3 paragraphs.
Also you need to write a good thesis statement for the first paragraph, and organize the body paragraphs better.


Task 2: Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do

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