Please help me check this essay "Work"

Kids nowadays are more and more active. In many countries children work for pay, which causes a controversy. This essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of this issue and then show my opinion.

There are some people believe that being engaged in paid work has bad effects on children. The first reason is that children might neglect their study because they concentrate on working too much. Unlike the children who have a job, the others might spend their free time doing homework or going to library. Worsely, they could drop their school cause they see the benefits of working that can not be seen in schooling. It is proven that the student who is engaged in a job is more likely to give up on school than the one who is not. Secondly, people think that it is terrible to use children for financial purpose. Children are too young to protect themselves from being taken advantage of their labour power and treated unfairly.

On the other hand, working is considered as a brilliant chance to learn and take responsibility by many people. This means being engaged in a paid job is also a way to study and prepare for their future life. It is predicted that the children having a job might more active and confident in their future actual career. Going to work means that they have to be more mature and responsible to what they do. Not to mention that during working, they have opportunity to meet a lot of people, some of whom could become their good friends. Moreover, children can earn a little money for their pocket money without asking their parents, which makes them more independent. It can not be denied that children who earn money themshelves approciate more and tend to be more economical than ones who do not.

In conclusion, although the disadvantages of children being engaged in paid work is undeniable, I encourage them to do some kind of suitable jobs as long as they are old enough and not be forced to do that.