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Quỳnh Ngân Nguyễn Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me check this essay. Thank you very much.

Task 2: Some people think that the movies should be for entertainment only, while others believe that media should have educational values.Discuss both news and give your own opinions.

Whether the movie is a method of recreation or an invaluable source of education is a controversial issue. Therefore, in this essay, I will clarify both sides of this matter.

On the one hand, it is advocated that movies yield immense values in the field of entertainment which is always the focus of concerns from billion of people around the world. To commence with, social networks becomes increasingly indispensable to spiritual life which means that were each individual to possess some means like smartphone or laptop, they would be able to relax with many a film website, temporarily escape from the afflictions, especially in a society where people are overwhelmed and overloaded at work. Moreover, through these entertainment demands, they would spur the economic potential, which could be exemplified in the Indian film industry with about 3.5 billion tickets sold every year.

However, the impact of movies on education is also not negligible, notably with children. This is because, for instance, regardless of the type of films they watch, it is reportedly easy for children to unconsciously imitate the behaviors in the movies. Whereby, the messages and meanings inferred from the films would be wholly conveyed to its audience. Additionally, people who relieve themselves to watch foreign films reinforce their foreign language capability. Likewise, a movie has considerable appeal compared to the texts full of words, hence, people tend to be more inclined to learn through direct observation.

In conclusion, from my perspective, movies are truly helpful in supplying knowledge as well as entertainment, that both of which play an irreplaceable role in today’s society.

  

Top answer

n Whether the movie is a method of recreation or an invaluable source of education is a controversial issue. That is quite bad. It is a memorized response.

  • n Whether the movie is a method of recreation or an invaluable source of education is a controversial issue.
  • That is quite bad.
  • It is a memorized response.
  • Do not use the same formulaic opening sentence for IELTS essays.
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3 Answers
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Qu?nh Ngân Nguy?nWhether the movie is a method of recreation or an invaluable source of education is a controversial issue.

That is quite bad. It is a memorized response. Do not use the same formulaic opening sentence for IELTS essays.

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Qu?nh Ngân Nguy?nTherefore, in this essay, I will clarify both sides of this matter.

That is quite unimpressive too.

You need to answer the essay prompt as a thesis statement.

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On the one hand, it is advocated that (awkward, These passive-voice dummy-it clauses are quite ugly) movies yield immense values in the field of entertainment which is always the focus of concerns (That makes no sense. What are billions of people worried about?) is their cworry?) from

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