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Jane 1314 Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me check this essay. It may have some mistakes but I can't detect

Task 2: It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to frequent outbreaks of dangerous diseases, the importance of medical education in terms of healthy lifestyles has been recognized widely nowadays. I strongly support that the government should dedicate its budget on enhancing the citizens’ awareness of a healthy way of living than on the supply of medical treatment for those currently being ill.

Firstly, health promotion has been considered an effective way to change the harmful dietary patterns of citizens. If all people become fully convinced of the importance of choosing healthy diets involving less meat and more vegetables instead of consuming junk food, they will start to reduce mental and physical health suffering. For example, Change4Life, which is one of the most successful health campaigns in the UK, has been providing educational and motivational messages to help people in the UK reduce their chances of developing common health conditions including type 2 diabetes, heart disease, stroke and cancer by consuming a nutritious diet with the proper quantity of nutrients.

Secondly, promoting healthy lifestyles contribute to sticking with a workout routine to improve individuals' overall health and wellness. As being physically active every day can prevent or control many of the nation's leading causes of death such as Cardiovascular diseases, this will help alleviate the government's burden of taking care of patients by reducing the amount of money spent on hospitalization and other medical fees. In short, it is imperative to dedicate public money for health campaigns to shape healthy choices.

In conclusion, I believe that disease prevention and health promotion are contributing to shaping health-related behaviors of citizens and developing the well-being of nations.

  

Top answer

Due to frequent outbreaks of dangerous diseases, the importance of medical education in terms of healthy lifestyles has been recognized widely nowadays . ) ill. " The clearest answer uses an adverb of extent.

  • Due to frequent outbreaks of dangerous diseases, the importance of medical education in terms of healthy lifestyles has been recognized widely nowadays .
  • ) ill.
  • " The clearest answer uses an adverb of extent.
  • Here is a list: totally, completely, wholeheartedly, fully, somewhat, partly, partially, to some extent, with reservations, not at all.
  • Firstly , First, health promotion has been considered an effective way to change the harmful eating habits dietary patterns of citizens.
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Due to frequent outbreaks of dangerous diseases, the importance of medical education in terms of healthy lifestyles has been recognized widely nowadays. I strongly support the premise that the government should dedicate its budget (All of it?) to ra

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