Please, help me check the grammar and the way of using words in the essay.

Topic 1: When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities rather than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extend do you agree?

Some people argue that when new towns are built up, it is more necessary to construct public parks or sport facilities instead of shopping centers. Personally, I agree that building public parks and sport facilities should be encouraged in new living areas. However, I also believe that launching shopping mall is indispensable in the areas, because each item brings different benefits for society.On the one hand, building public parks and sport centers is the necessity that will provide people places to do exercises or outdoor activities such as jogging, running, or cycling and so on. This helps residents to be more energetic and their body is relaxed after a long day of a sequence of stressful and pressure works, even, doing exercises help people to prevent the risk of diseases such as diabetes, obesity, or high blood pressure. Therefore, people’s health will be improved and the average longevity of population will be higher. Another reason that advocates the idea is boosting interaction among people. Public parks will be places where people have chance to meet others and socialize with them. This is also another effective way that allows residents to relieve stress and pressure.On the other hand, shopping centers play a vital role in society and they are indispensable in any living regions. That is because shopping malls are considered as suppliers of different kinds of product for people that are used to serve their lives such as foods, cloths, and so on. Thus, to meet the diverse needs of products of people, shopping malls should be invested and built on new town. Moreover, running shopping malls will bring benefits for society. Taxes that government collects from these centers will be used to invest in others such as health care, traffic system, education, etc, and citizens are beneficiaries from this.In conclusion, parks, sport facilities and shopping centers are the indispensable projects, which government should invest to them, because they own many advantages that society and individuals are beneficiaries.

Topic 2: Today, many children spend more time on gaming and very little time on sports and exercise. Why is this happening? Is it positive or negative development?

Nowadays, there are more and more teenagers spending more their time on playing game rather than on sports and assignments. This trend is triggered by some different causes and it affects negatively to players. On the one side of the problem, there are some causes that need to be taken into consideration. First and foremost, the pamper of parents is one of the main reason that makes their children become lazier in doing exercise or playing sports. Parents allow their children to expose with technological devices (computer, mobile phone,..) at a very young age that will be a potential chance for children to access to games and they are attracted by these games, even get addicted. Thus, they tend to spend most of their time to conquer scores in games. Another reason that need to be mentioned is the indifference of parents. This is because parents are always busy in work and they spend very little time for caring and track their children’s studying progress, besides that, they are not strict in managing and controling children’s time and activities. Thus, for lazy children in studying, this will facilitates them to do any things that they like including game.On the other side of the problem, the drawbacks that caused by this are obvious. Firstly, playing gaming affects negatively children’s health. Spending a long time on game that means they are lazier to do outdoor activities, and this causes obesity and some obesity related diseases like diabetes, heart attack, high blood pressure. Another concern that stems from this is reducing children’s performance in studying. Gaming addiction in children can make them not interested in studying, even they are willing playing truant. This impacts seriously their studying result at school.

In conclusion, parents are considered as a main factor that causes the mentioned problem above and there are some disadvantages resulting from this that parents need to consider to have appropriate solutions in educating their child.

_______

Please, help me check the grammar and the way of using words in the essay. Thank you so much.