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Mango 998 Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me check my writting task 2!!! Thank you very much!!!!!

In the future, we will have more and more leisure time as machines will replace many of the tasks we do at home and work now. 
Discuss the benefits this will bring and also the problem it will cause.

My writing:

It is true that in the future, with the development in technology, we will completely rely on modern types of equipment for the tasks in both daily life and the workplace. Thus, we can have more spare time to do other things such as entertaining or resting. My essay will thoroughly analyze the major benefits and drawbacks of the given issue.

On the one hand, the replacement of machines has brought about lots of obvious perks to human life. In fact, the convenient stuff could facilitate people's balance the life between work and entertainment. Hardly can housewives have a break and enjoy themselves with family without the help of those labor-saving devices such as robotic vacuum cleaners, washing, and dishwashing machines. Furthermore, thanks to intelligent machines, an enormous workload is handled quicker and more effectively, relieving people from heavy work as well as from being stuck at work. For example, enabling the automation of manual tasks such as data analysis, and information processing would increase accuracy, enhancing the productivity of people’s work. Therefore, people would have more time to enjoy fully their lives according to their desires.

On the other hand, such efficient stuff also has some detrimental disadvantages. Due to overdependence on such technological gadgets, people tend to have a sedentary lifestyle and it is extremely negative for their health. If people are inactive in that extra spare hours, they are more prone to obesity. Besides that, modern technology is now very common in every field so people seem to work and rely totally on machines. In this way, people are spending time keeping their eyes glued to their screens during working hours and their phone which would harm their vision and nerves afterward. Even a majority of employees are losing their jobs and being replaced by automation such as commercials drivers, and accountants.

In conclusion, it is believed that the development of machines will enhance human quality of life and as a result, their free time will increase. However, it seems evident that there are still have unavoidable drawbacks to this viewpoint.

  

Top answer

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3 Answers
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Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post. Click on this link:

Next, tap on the green button "write a new post"

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You wrote nearly 350 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you po

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It is true that (Avoid these dummy-it clauses. It adds nothing at all to the content. Besides weakening your statement, the reader thinks you might write something that is false.) In the future, with the development in machines that do human-like tasks technology, (Most essay w

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