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Nguyenngoc Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me check my writing task 2. Thank you very much

Topic 8: Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Agree or disagree?

ANSWER:

It is said that raising people’s awareness through the school’s curriculum is the best way to decrease the crime rate. In my opinion, to control the increasing number of criminals, what we should do is to combine education with strict punishment such as imprisoning people who commit a crime.

Firstly, providing people with a better education is considered an effective way to reduce the number of offenders. Students will study some aspects of law so they can be aware of what they must not do if they do not want to involve in crimes or become a victim. For example, teaching important laws about driving or road safety for youngsters enables them to participate in traffic carefully so that they will not cause accidents or break the law. Secondly, that criminals are re-educated while they are behind bars affects significantly their life after being released. Whether those people will become useful citizens in society depends much on the training in prison.

On the other hand, that sending anyone to prison if they take part in illegal activities in many countries is also a considerable solution to minimize the rate of crime as people might think about the consequences that they have to suffer when committing a crime. For instance, murders must be imprisoned for a long time or even for the rest of their life, which means they will face losing freedom, social isolation, separation from their loved ones, or even mistreatment when they are deprived of their civil rights. Another reason is that when serious offenders are sent to prison, they are no longer a danger of society and people can walk on the streets or relax in their homes more safely.

In conclusion, I believe that both schooling and prison sentences are essential weapons in the fight against crime, they have their own distinctive merits and play an integral role in unlawful actions.

  

Top answer

It is said that raising people’s awareness through the school’s curriculum is the best way to decrease the crime rate. (That does not accurately state the topic. ) In my opinion, to control the increasing number of criminals, what we should do is to combine education with strict punishment such as imprisoning people who commit a crime.

  • It is said that raising people’s awareness through the school’s curriculum is the best way to decrease the crime rate.
  • (That does not accurately state the topic.
  • ) In my opinion, to control the increasing number of criminals, what we should do is to combine education with strict punishment such as imprisoning people who commit a crime.
  • You did not answer the essay prompt very clearly.
  • Question: A more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.
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1 Answers
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It is said that raising people’s awareness through the school’s curriculum is the best way to decrease the crime rate. (That does not accurately state the topic. It is not about adding crime prevention or awareness topics to the subjects taught in school.) In my opinion, to control the increasing number of criminals, what we should do is to

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