Please help me check my writing task 2

"Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for a charity, improve the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).
To what extent do you agree or disagree"

It is suggested that high school programmes should include unpaid community service as a subject for all students nowadays. However, in my opinion, it should be a choice rather than a compulsory curriculum for young people to work beside studying, which will be explained clearly below.

Firstly, while these services such as working for a charity or teaching younger children can improve social skills, not all the students have enough time for them. Not only studying at school, a huge number of young people, especially in poor places such as high mountains or seasides, have to help their family making money after school. Furthermore, in many Asian countries as Vietnam, China or Japan, high school students tend to study harder in the last year to pass the university’s exam which is at times considered as one of their most important parts in life. Therefore, on my own view, adding unpaid community service to high school programmes as a compulsory part is not suitable for the timetable of many students.

Secondly, I believe that high school is the place for teaching academic subject, not for doing outdoor activities. Although helping people is good for students, they have more chances to do that than at school. Besides, the programmes in different countries are not the same. For example, in Vietnam, students have a busy schedule for learning as their parent’s hope. As a result, working outsides perhaps is not choice of many students.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that giving young people chances to choose whether they want to do unpaid community service is a clever policy. This will give them more time to do whatever they want besides just helping others without money.