Please help me check my writing task 2.

Topic: Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ANSWER:

It cannot deny that we are living in a society that places a high emphasis on white-collar jobs. However, this may lead to a shortage of manual workers playing a vital role within our community. Although it is true to say that academic study is essential for teenagers, I believed that people need to join vocational courses to be trained and become skilled laborers.

First of all, the blue-collar workers contribute to the growth of economy as much as those working in the office do. If a country does not have enough manual workers, it has to face many difficulties related to economic development. For example, the whole of the electricity grid of the nation may be at the risk of malfunction as the lack of electrical workers. As a result, the manufacture of companies would be unstable and interrupted, which leads to slack in the production process and affects negatively the economy of the country as a whole.

Another reason to encourage teenagers to do vocational training is that the rate of graduate unemployment has been increasing significantly due to imbalance labor market. Most of people prefer to go to university for academic study rather than to attend a trade school and become blue-collar workers in the future. Hence, nowadays, those who are plumbers or electricians can seek employment easily, ensure a successful future. On the contrary, a huge number of students graduating from a famous university with a bachelor degree in business administration or finance are still jobless.

In conclusion, teenagers need to profoundly reflect upon attending vocational courses to help community as well as enable themselves to get a good job in the future.