Please help me check my writing task 1 in Ielts writing

Question

The line graph compares the proportion of car ownership in Britain over a period of 36 years.

It is clear that while the percentage of the households who owned no car dipped exponentially, the figures for those who had two or more cars increased quickly. Also, the household rate who own one car accounted for the largest proportion of the three forms of car ownership over the period shown.

Standing at over 50%, the proportion of households who had no car over 5 times as much as that of having two or more cars in 1990. In the following years, there was a slight fluctuation in the households who owned one car, but later it hit a peak of over 55% in 2015.

Another noticeable thing, it is expected to increase dramatically to just over 40% of the two or more-car households by the year 2030. Meanwhile, the figures for those who do not have car will probably stay a non -stop decrease to around only 15% at the end of the period. It is predicted to fall of over 10% of the one-car households before fluctuating wildly in future.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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AlpheccaStars · Answer

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The line graph compares the proportion of car ownership in Britain over a period of 36 (wrong number) years.

That is not a very good description of the figure. What is the time period shown? What exactly is plotted on the graph? How many curves are there? What is the category for each curve?

Suggestion:

The line graph has three curves which give the percentages of Britishers who own no car, one car, and two or more cars, respectively, over the period from 1990 to the present, with a forecast into the future to 2030. The total of the values of the three curves at each point in time is 100%.

Your writing is not clear regarding which of the three curves you are writing about. YOu need to give specific time points.

You need to write your paragraphs more logically. Each paragraph must have one theme or point. For example, in one paragraph you can write about the past, and in the next paragraph write about the future. Or you can write one paragraph for each curve.

~~It is clear that~~ While the percentage of the households who owned no car dipped exponentially, (See the pattern for exponential decrease. It does not match the line graph. ) the figures for those who had two or more cars increased quickly. (When?) Also, the household rate (??) who own one car accounted for the largest proportion of the three forms of car ownership over the period shown. (That is not true. From 1990 to 2003, the proportion of households which had no car was higher.)

Standing at over 50%, the proportion of households who had no car was over 5 times as much as those who had ~~that of having~~ two or more cars in 1990. In the following years, How many? Which years?) there was a slight fluctuation (wrong word) in the households who owned one car, but ~~later~~ it hit a peak of over 55% in 2015.

Another noticeable thing, it (Which of the three curves?) is expected to increase dramatically to just over 40% of the two or more-car households (I don't understand this.) by the year 2030. Meanwhile, the figures for those who do not have a car will probably ~~sta~~y ~~a non -stop~~ decrease to around only 15% at the end of the period. It is predicted to fall of over 10% of the one-car households (I do not understand this) before fluctuating wildly (??) in future.

This is an exponential decrease. None of the curves look like this.

Please help me check my writing task 1 in Ielts writing

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